Following last week’s massacre of 20 children and seven adults in a Newtown, Connecticut elementary school, a South Carolina lawmaker says he has a plan to end school violence once and for all — by arming the schoolchildren.
Indianapolis, IN – In yet another twist in the case of Auburn quarterback Cam Newton’s pay-to-play eligibility investigation, the NCAA itself has been indefinitely suspended from regulating college football.
Washington, DC – Barack Obama’s unspoken disdain for South Carolina became apparent on Wednesday with the release of his official NCAA Basketball Tournament picks.
Columbia – South Carolina’s textbook task force claims to have found a way to avoid all of the controversy plaguing the Texas School Board and save money at the same time.
Columbia – With less than a year remaining of his time in office, Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina still has work left to do cementing his legacy to the state. With that legacy in mind, the governor announced plans today that should go a long way toward imprinting his collection of seven letters into the minds of our children: the founding of a university bearing his name.
Daniel Island – Recorded conversations between Representative Jim Merrill and as yet unidentified parties on a conference have the Daniel Island Republican making apologies to everyone from Superintendent of Education Jim Rex to local education officials.
Citing a concern about witchcraft, gay-oriented television shows and declining math scores across the state, leaders confirmed that local law enforcement, school officials and clergy will work together to get the word out that the Upstate will be Halloween-free in 2009.
Charleston – One of the country’s oldest colleges is turning to one of the world’s newest technologies in an effort to attract more technologically ‘hip’ students. The College of Charleston is currently testing a process that would allow students to complete part of their initial enrollment application via twitter.
|The editorial content of this site is satire and parody. Real news is clearly marked. Lighten up.|