by William Moultrie
Sullivan’s Island – South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford released another statement today, this time blaming her husband’s affair on the declining moral values in America.
Jenny Sanford (right) and SC GOP chair Karen Floyd are both outspoken opponents of gay marriage.
“Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay,” Sanford said, “but he may as well be. The moral decay in this country has claimed another victim and this time it was my family. Our marriage was perfect until these laws started passing around the country. Clearly the slow dissolution of the sanctity of marriage in America seeped into Mark’s psyche until he no longer felt compelled to abide by our vows.”
Social conservatives were quick to show their support for the first lady’s statement.
“It’s finally happened,” said Rush Limbaugh, conservative radio personality. “America, I’ve been warning you for years that gay marriage would destroy the American family and look… there they are, a husband, wife, and four children — destroyed. When is this going to stop America? When will the liberals be satisfied? When all the marriages break up? This wasn’t Mark Sanford’s fault, this was Ted Kennedy’s fault. Sanford didn’t cheapen the value of marriage, he was victimized by the cheapening of marriage.”
Governor Sanford was unavailable for comment, but his office issued a statement saying “we’re not commenting on any of the first lady’s statements, but we like where she’s going with this.”
Progressive commentators were less taken with Mrs. Sanford’s comments.
“Unless he was flying to Vermont with Lindsey Graham, gay marriage had nothing to do with this,” said MSNBC commentator Keith Olberman. “Yet again the right wing has a ‘sinner’ in their midst and yet again they’re trying to deflect the blame and put it at the feet of Democrats, homosexuals, and I’m sure the Hollywood elite and the so-called ‘Main Stream Media’ will figure in to it before their done. Jenny Sanford, you are the worst person in the world.”
Asked if this newly determined source of their marital problems would impact their chances of reconcilation, Mrs. Sanford was somewhat evasive.
“In the end, he is the one who is going to hell and we’re going to have to work through that, but make no mistake, this whole affair can be traced back to the liberals in Washington. We may not be able to save our marriage, but it’s not too late for the rest of America. Say no to gay marriage — the marriage you save might be your own.”
More on the Sanford scandal from theDiscust:
Mark Sanford: The Recap | The Sanford Chronicles: Jenny Jenny, who can I turn to? (video)
Mark had told me where to look for the car in the Charleston airport parking lot and that the directions for the fifty-mile drive to Coosaw, the family farm, would be on a clipboard on the passenger seat. I hadn’t anticipated the car would be a stick shift. Though I d tried before, I didn t really know how to drive a stick. ” Good God, you re by yourself in Jacksonboro! she exclaimed. Evie told me that Mark was already at the party he d left Coosaw without waiting for me. She gave me directions to her house and said she would let Mark know I was on my way. I arrived to the party well underway. Evie wearing a necklace of blinking Christmas lights (how could I not love her immediately?) welcomed me warmly and began to introduce me around conspiratorily: This is Jenny, Mark s date. Can you believe he left his car for her at the airport and she made it here on her own on a night like this?! “
Hypocrisy Quotes and Sayings: Say what you feel. It’s not being rude, it’s called being real. People would say bad things about you, because it is the only way their insignificant self can feel…
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Gay marriage has absolutely nothing to do with this. People in a marriage should put their own value on what they have vs. caring about other peoples lives. No one ruined this marriage except the guy that cheated. Stop placing blame, thats where the country is messed up, you always have to have someone to blame.
I find more interest personally in the comments I read, whether this woman actually said such a thing or not. I wasn’t there, I don’t know the story.
I was actually listening to a radio program this morning on the subject of homosexual marriages. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not. I have a husband, and am a member of the military. I don’t stand up for this comment, real or not, for any personal reason beyond the fact that people seem unable to separate their personal opinions from politics.
Someone mentioned abortions. I’ll say right now that I can’t stand the practice of murdering a child, unborn or not, particularly when there are women who cannot bear children. Again, I have no personal attachment to this statement, ie I’m not barren. I state fact that there are infertile men and women. However, politically and constitutionally, I have no right to impose my personal beliefs onto another person, regardless of the topic.
I’m also not religious in any way, so there is no “because God/Allah/etc says it’s wrong” or whatever religious zealots (and their less volatile companions) are spouting. No, this isn’t an attack on religion. Some of my best friends are very devout Christians. The fact that people will say something to the effect that they are disgusted by the idea of “gay” marriage, therefor it shouldn’t be allowed, is akin to my saying something equally ludicrous, ie, “I think that sauerkraut is nasty, therefor it shouldn’t be sold where I shop.” Immediately people will think that the two statements are related at all, but think about it.
In both cases, a dislike is stated, and a possible fix to that dislike is also presented. Do I have the right to say that fermented cabbage can’t be sold? No, I don’t. Just like I have no right to tell a man he can’t marry another man, or a woman that she can’t abort a life. This is a case where you have to drop opinion and drop religion and just think about it. And it can’t be said that those two subjects must be considered – since when are church and state decisions supposed to be made together? Part of the way our government works is that the church and state are separate. It’s the same with opinion. Things change. Not so long ago women were considered useless for anything but housework and childcare. Black men and women were seen as useless for anything but slaves, even given proof on the contrary.
If the two men or two women aren’t having sex in public (which is against the law for a heterosexual couple as well) then it shouldn’t matter how they live their life. And in a culture where it’s all right for ten-year-old girls to dress in skirts that show their ass and all they got, and poverty still runs rampant, and jobs are still more scarce than they were I few years ago, I think the same-sex marriage should be the least of our worries.
Hmmmmm
I think she should have blamed her problems on the UFOS and ALIENS visiting this planet. E.T. made her husband do it.
In a “perfect” America of 75 years ago, she would have blamed her problems on the Jews in Hollywood, while standing next to a Nazi party flag instead of a Gay Pride Flag.
I think the truth can be found in a mirror, just stare at it, and you may find the enemy peering right back at you.
Did anyone ask Jenny about anorexia troubles?
I agree with Jenny.
I also agree with ND of the Catholic church.
The best way to turn a fruit into a vegetable is with a baseball bat.
Jenny, you’ve got to be kidding!!! Get into the 20th Century (and then we’ll work on the 21st).
How can someone who should be intelligent be so stupid? YOU are the problem, not gay America!
I meant Jason, not Mark.
Mark, you’re a twit! Jenny Sanford is an exceptionally beautiful lady. You wish you could find one like her. For that matter, I wish I could find one as beautiful and and wonderful as her.
This is an Onion type satire column. People are getting bent out of shape over this? Wow…
Jenny Sanford; ___>>>>Can you think being married to this old bat. Look at her she looks 10 yeras older than Mark & has a hard side look to her because that is who she is. _____Women of this type lose their looks fast & are unable to take care of their man in or out of bed. _____Another spoiled American women that like to turn men into boys. Men go for the women ouside of America they know how to treat a man & a man knows how to give his best with women that truly love them. ______Life is too short get yourself an import no American women knows what the hell she is doing when it comes to the American male.!! Jason; 38 Attorney Denver Colorado.
Now you know why he cheated on this moron…imagine being stuck with an idiot like her for the rest of your life. Geeeez.
Wow,this is too laughable! This supreme stupidility amused me!
I thought their marriage broke up because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. Don’t worry, Jenny, it isn’t your fault. Your husband just believes he deserves a mistress because he is a “successful” man and “successful” men like him deserve mistresses – like many, many men have thought for thousands of years. Has nothing to do with gay people.
She is a certifiable nutcase. I’d have cheated to being married to her.
© 2009 theDiscust. The editorial content of this site is satire and parody. Real news is clearly marked. Lighten up.
lol. Sounds to me like she messed up and because she can’t blame herself for her problems she’s choosing to blame others. No offense to her but try looking at the 2 x 4 in your eye before blaming others……
Man You Guys are funny. This is a joke a hoax this lady never said what is in this article. Someone has did this just to make you mad at her please read below:
Here is her statement in full:
I would like to start by saying I love my husband and I believe I have put forth every effort possible to be the best wife I can be during our almost twenty years of marriage. As well, for the last fifteen years my husband has been fully engaged in public service to the citizens and taxpayers of this state and I have faithfully supported him in those efforts to the best of my ability. I have been and remain proud of his accomplishments and his service to this state.
I personally believe that the greatest legacy I will leave behind in this world is not the job I held on Wall Street, or the campaigns I managed for Mark, or the work I have done as First Lady or even the philanthropic activities in which I have been routinely engaged. Instead, the greatest legacy I will leave in this world is the character of the children I, or we, leave behind. It is for that reason that I deeply regret the recent actions of my husband Mark, and their potential damage to our children.
I believe wholeheartedly in the sanctity, dignity and importance of the institution of marriage. I believe that has been consistently reflected in my actions. When I found out about my husband’s infidelity I worked immediately to first seek reconciliation through forgiveness, and then to work diligently to repair our marriage. We reached a point where I felt it was important to look my sons in the eyes and maintain my dignity, self-respect, and my basic sense of right and wrong. I therefore asked my husband to leave two weeks ago.
This trial separation was agreed to with the goal of ultimately strengthening our marriage. During this short separation it was agreed that Mark would not contact us. I kept this separation quiet out of respect of his public office and reputation, and in hopes of keeping our children from just this type of public exposure. Because of this separation, I did not know where he was in the past week.
I believe enduring love is primarily a commitment and an act of will, and for a marriage to be successful, that commitment must be reciprocal. I believe Mark has earned a chance to resurrect our marriage.
Psalm 127 states that sons are a gift from the Lord and children a reward from Him. I will continue to pour my energy into raising our sons to be honorable young men. I remain willing to forgive Mark completely for his indiscretions and to welcome him back, in time, if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance.
This is a very painful time for us and I would humbly request now that members of the media respect the privacy of my boys and me as we struggle together to continue on with our lives and as I seek the wisdom of Solomon, the strength and patience of Job and the grace of God in helping to heal my family.
See no parts of Gay Marriage and nothing to offend anyone (Unless you happen to be her husband). Has society really gotten to the point that we are going to react to everything we read with hostility? Both sides here are wrong. One side is chastizing a family for a bunch of untruths and the other half is agreeing with the untruths and saying it needed to be said. NO TYPE OF UNTRUTH NEEDS TO BE AGREED WITH especialy since its very essence is a lie. Now go back to your lives and leave other people to there lives.
Yes, Jenny Sanford you are correct; the moral decline in this country has been going on for years and yes, homosexual “marriage” plays a HUGE role in the breakdown of the American Family. Amen! BTW, so does legalized abortion. I hope your marriage can be reconciled. I hate to see yet another family fall victim to, as Pope John Paul II called it, the “culture of death.”
Unbelievable that such a person in her position and influence as First Lady of South Carolina makes a statement like this. I would expect this kind of rhetoric from someone such as Fred Phelps of the Westburo Baptist Church of Topeka Kansas. (This is the “church family” that protests the military funerals across the country.) What? Is she not mature or intelligent enough to do a self examination and TRY to figure out just WHY here marriage failed? I suppose that this is too difficult and the only easy way out answer is to scapegoat onto something that has nothing to do with the initial PERSONAL failure components of her marriage Maybe it is the profound, mind blinding light, of orthodox christian fundamentalism. Remember, it is these same type of locked minded people (then called the Pharisees and Scribes) that persecuted, prosecuted and executed Jesus the Christ Himself. What the problem was, was that Jesus dared to tell these (then fundamentalists) that they were WRONG. They too thought that they were doing the will of God by crucifying Him, WRONG again!
July 8, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Seems to me is the easy way out…to blame someone else for the problems you already have. WE GAY COMMUNITY DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR HUSBAND. Madame, if your husband cheated I am sure there were problems in your relationship – Please let’s be mature!! DO NOT HANG OR BLAME others for your issues, Be a man or a woman…(I mean an adult) take responsability. For the Love of GOD
Too close to reality, and I got caught at my own blog quoting this article without checking the sources. I guess this makes me a real journalist, doesn’t it?
Interesting, though, that a commenter at my blog wrote to me “You must be a liberal because liberals don’t get satire.” I thought that was even funnier. Does this mean that Sarah Palin is a put-on that I am just not getting? Is she a Poe?
It’s always easier to blame someone else for the problems you need to own. Lady, your husband cheated because there were problems in your relationship – OWN IT!! Quit blaming everyone for your issues, just face them. Geeezzzzz!
there are too many ppl thinking this is true. Is this satire or real?? Please let us know
The thing about satire is that it’s based, at least partially on the truth. You can bet your life that some of the old Neo-cons believe this whole heartedly.
Is it the year 1912? How dare these people blame gays for their infedelity. I felt so bad for the first lady until I just read this. This just proves how out of touch these closed-minded conservatives are. The media should have a field-day with this crazy news story. This is Life 101 people….when you do something wrong, take responsiblilty and don’t point the blame on someone else.
Gay marriage did not wreck your marriage: your husband”s penis did.
Way to get traffic to your site.
The comments here are proof that the concept of democracy is flawed. More than half of the comments are from people who can’t figure out that this is a satire piece even though it is written right on the page. Oh dear flying spaghetti monster help us. The majority that is making the decisions has no clue and no critical thinking skills!
Oh my, the comments… how disappointing… We must be mainstream nowadays if we gays can’t even get satire anymore. Come on, kids! The Republican Party may be a joke, but… come on! Can’t we have gay marriage and *still* keep a better sense of humor than the straights?
jenny sanford on spitzer
LOL
Maybe if she hadnt married a homosexual she wouldnt have this problem. Seriously. If gay marriage was legal, her husband would have married a man and she would have married someone else.
Christian fundamentlists have destroyed the American family.
I am glad she said it so the world could hear. It’s one more nail in the coffin of the fundamentalist Christian right (or let’s hope).
What the Hell happened to the concept of “personal responsibility”??
What a shameless and hypocritical lot the Moral Values Police are.
Basics peole… basics. You learned right from wrong prior to being Republican or Democrat… Gay or Straight! Telling lies, cheating (tests, games, and relationships), breaking commitments to your partner is wrong. Nuff said!
How in the world does having an affair with a woman in Argentina have anything to do gay marriage? That kind of logic escapes me.
She calls the marriage “perfect, before these laws started passing…” clearly, if was far from perfect.
Stop blaming everyone else and deal with your husband & marriage.
Honey, you’re just upset because your husband cheated on you with another man. So get the **** over it and stop blaming the gays and lesbians for you marital problems
Okay, it’s finally happened. Conservative spokescreatures have become so absurd I actually can no longer tell satire from dead serious reportage. There’s a place or two in this article where I’m PRETTY sure I see signs of satire, but I just can’t be sure.
Either way, we can laugh at them with a light heart, now that their jokes are not also national policy.
Yours truly,
John Mayer
WHAT a riot. i think aliens probably had something to do with it. when will we get the details on the ana probe? and the connection to the da vinci code? and kennedy was mentioned, so obviously there’s a conspiracy!
I HAVE NEWS FOR JENNY STANFORD: STRAIGHT MARRIAGE WRECKED MY FAMILY, B*TCH.
OMG!! South Carolina has these two COMPLETE FOOLS in the governor’s house????? Which IDIOTS voted these IDIOTS into that office??????
SC, if you don’t RECALL this FLAMING IDIOT asap, you, the state with the highest rate of men killing women… umm… hmmm…
Actually, SC, with your stone-age attitudes towards women there, maybe you deserve to be the laughingstock of America. Which you are now, btw, in case you weren’t quite sure.
SC, maybe you deserve to have these FLAMING IDIOTS in your governor’s house.
What an outragous stupid thing to say?????? Blame the gays and lesbians because her husband cheated?? So it wasn’t because this other woman “put lead in his pencil”, but because of moral decline… WELL honey, you are right about the moral decline… But it was your husband’s moral decline, NO ONE ELSES!!!! So just go and get yourself a hyman repair and stop your cunt ass whining and I’m sure this “moral decline” will find you too, if it hasn’t already!
I don’t know which is funnier: the article, itself, or some of the comments. Are these comments supposed to be satire, too? It’s like looking into a funhouse mirror.
As for Mrs. Sanford, she doesn’t strike me as the victim type. I think she’ll survive this article just fine.
The Republican Party has finally come full circle. They have created an environment in which something like this outrageous parody is so believable that no one even questioned it. So I ask you, whose fault is that? Jenny and Mark Sanford have been up to their rightwing necks in this crap for years. They deserve whatever they get as a result and they absolutely deserve each other.
I can’t even believe this is REAL. What a f****** idiot she is!!! Can people honestly believe this crap?!?!?
I will leave Jenny Sanford alone when she stops trying to place the blame for her husband’s philandering ways on people that have absolutely nothing to do with it. Her husband is a cheater, always has been, always will be and the source of that behavior is not even distantly related to the state of gay marriage.
If she’s going to make claims this outrageously nonsensical she’d best be ready to take whatever comes back her direction.
Immediately below the button for submitting comments is this disclaimer:
The editorial content of this site is satire and parody. Real news is clearly marked. Lighten up.
The only people stupider than those who took this seriously are those who blame Sanford’s affair on his wife’s looks.
Dear Governor Sanford,
I read with alarm your wife’s statement : “Gay marriage wrecked my marriage” and I would like to apologize to you and Jenny for breaking up your marriage.
You see, I and my same-sex partner innocently enough got married last October. We thought we were just experiencing marital bliss and enjoying some, but not all the benefits and all of the responsibilities that married couples enjoy. We had no idea we were actually destroying your marriage! We are so sorry.
We feel especially sorry for the kids and want you to know that we don’t have any children and don’t plan on having any or adopting any. I’m sure if we did we would hear of other prominent upstanding couples breaking up over it.
We’re not quite sure what we did to break up your marriage. Perhaps it was the thought of hot man on man sex that drove you to seek release outside of your marriage.
Perhaps it was that we try to be role models by being able to cook, sew, keep house, raise children (or sometimes beloved pets), enjoy musical theatre, fashion, interior decorating and all with great panache. In our drive to be role models, have we inadvertantly set the bar too high for straight couples? I bet Jenny often complained that you’re not as good as the gay couple up the street.
We also enjoy strolls on the beach and long walks up the Appalachian Trail.
Best of all , we can have a boy’s night out and take our spouse along. I’m sure that that put a damper on your marriage. I’m so so sorry.
Sincerely,
Steve and Gary Zink-Young
This is dumb–LEAVE JENNY SANFORD ALONE!!!
OMG! I am nauseous!! This is the biggest load of shit-stinking rhetoric I have ever read in my entire life!! Is this woman really serious??? It sickens me to think 1) that she really believes this crap, and 2) that OTHER people are supporting this ridiculous line of bullshit! Keith Olberman is right — that woman is THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD!! I’m all for people having their own opinions about things but this chick is certifiable! She belongs in a mental institution!
I thought it was real, also, because it came up highly ranked on google news. I was, of course, outraged. Then I re-reread it; hysterically funny. I guess I should I have realized it was a parody site, because you guys do say, prominently “Because in South Carolina we expect more than just the truth.” Congratulations on achieving national fame! And, for all of you losers who think it wasn’t funny just because you did not get the joke right away: IT IS FUNNY! Get a life.
Hilarious! TheDiscust.com is producing great work… You are on my “must read” feed!
Obviously more than half the people reading this are not getting the joke. Probably because it’s not funny. This is someone who has already been publicly humiliated and you are putting words in her mouth that will cause her more grief. Yes, yes, it’s a satire, I get it. But this has spread all over the internet as the truth.
It’s damaging to Mrs. Sanford and it is a disservice to the millions of lesbian and gay Americans who are working so hard for equality.
And as I said, it’s not even funny. If your going to be mean and petty, at least be good at it.
Strom Thurmond visits Mark Sanford to give him advice as the GHOST OF AFFAIRS PAST in another exciting episode of The Morning Rush Not Ready For Prime Time Players! And four Irregulars have offered what they think is up with mark…..get on the poll here: http://www.975wcos.com/pages/Jonathonrush.html
So, let me get this straight. Gay marriage caused Sanford, who isn’t gay, to screw around on his wife. By that same logic, straight marriage would cause me to screw around on my partner with another man.
Look sister, if you’re going to blame someone, blame your lousy two-timing hypocrite husband with the hot pants and the tricky dicky.
OK even if jenny sanford didn’t say those things she DID name her four kids Marshall, Landon, Bolton and Blake.
I STILL HATE HER!
I think I have to agree with the previous comments: you need a better disclaimer; most people haven’t heard of your site, and it’s no wonder with poorly toned pieces of shit like this. But then maybe that was the point of this article–TONS of people that wouldn’t normally come anywhere near this fourth-rate Onion shadow are linking here in the belief that it’s real= traffic=$$$. Maybe it is sad that so many people are are being duped into believing something they read on a no-name site like this, but a lot of the right-wing nutjobs you’ve failed at satirizing here have said things more inflammatory in the past.
OK, is it me or do Jenny and Karen look like lesbian couple at Gay Pride?
Remember when rightwingers used to chant about personal responsibility?
Nah, me either.
“It’s telling (and scary) that so many people naturally assumed that this was a legit article.”
(from previous comment)
It is telling how many idiots read this site and don’t realize THE WHOLE THING is satirical
get a grip
Yeah, it’s true:
Everytime I twist my gay wedding rings…
a hetero cheater
gets his wings.
ummm, hello? don’t you people realize this is a satirical site, it is not “news” it is made up. (not like the news is factual either, but that is another story)
if you think Jenny Sanford is dumb (she is brilliant actually, hence the “satire”) take a look in the mirror
Even allowing for the fact that this was a hoax, the criticisms here still stand bc these comments (although fabricated in this case) are typical of the types of comments made by various right wing commentators over the years. It’s telling (and scary) that so many people naturally assumed that this was a legit article.
Well, I’ll tell you this:
I’m SORRY that us gay folks didn’t do enough to prevent Osama bin Laden from blowing up the Twin Towers, which was ALL OUR FAULT, according to some of Ms. Sanford’s co-religionists.
Likewise, I’m SORRY that us gay folks didn’t shoo Hurricane Katrina away, or, better yet, throw our bodies in the gap of that levee, which must by why THAT was ALL OUR FAULT, too.
And, come to think of it, yeah, all us gay folks probably DID cause the recession, probably because we had to spend all our hard earned money on health care, since for the most part we’re not allowed to have family coverage (and even when we do we get to pay extra taxes on it…)
ALL OUR FAULT, ALL OUR FAULT!
But I’ll tell you this, too:
I will NOT take responsibility for yet another hypocritical narcissistic straight male politician who can’t keep his frickin’ pecker in his pocket. As far as I can tell, THAT particular sin goes back to the original first couple, Adam and Eve, who taught us gay folks how to lie and cheat and all those other things that you all have been so good at doing since the frickin’ DAWN OF TIME.
That stays on YOUR plate!
Thank you for listening…
Richard Jasper
East Amherst, NY
This is one of the most offensive, yet ridiculous things I have ever read. Exactly how is the broadening and recognition of human and civil rights eroding societal values?
Exactly how can this conservative gorgon possibly connect her husband’s infidelity to the expansion of an institution which celebrates the exact opposite of infidelity, namely love and devotion?
Once again we are presented with the ludicrous type of double-think which pervades the conservative right in the US.
And finally, as an Aussie, I have to wonder at a nation which celebrates individualism until disaster erupts, at which point it is no longer the individual, but rather ‘societal downfall’ which is to blame.
What a Dumb Bitch.
Gay marriage did not ruin your marriage, your husband did. Case closed!
Good lord now I know why he cheated on her, she is an insipid cow backed by a pill popping drug addict. Rush has always been delusional and mostly because of his addiction and this woman is trying to blame anyone but herself for her failed marriage. These people never disappoint me with their stupidity. If it wasn’t the gays both of these right wingers would have found another scapegoat for their own failings. She needs to ask herself what she did to help her marriage fail instead of squawking about outer influences.
Your hate speech sickens me. Your site is disgusting! You are a worthless piece of shit! How is that for funny … Not very is it!
On the contrary. This hate speech threatens my (same sex) marriage. How dare she blame her husband’s philandering ways on us!
Furthermore, this type of cheating was not unknown years before even our community dreamed of same-sex marriage. How do you explain the cheating of earlier times, Jenny?
As far as jokes and satire goes this “article ::winkwink::” doesn’t seem terribly funny, but only because it could totally happen. Jenny Sanford is pretty heavy with her family and children first message, and the worst thing to come out of this scandal could be exactly the untruths this article perpetuates. As someone who flirts very closely with copyright laws, I understand that disclaimers are annoying, stupid and must be in plain site. This piece was hurtful and slanderous if only because of how seriously it was taken. In lieu of the numbers please make some sort of apology over this bullshit. Just because the bad humor and response was unintentional doesn’t make you blameless.
LOL! Great parody. ‘Cause yeah, the idea of gay marriage ruining family values in the face of the farce Gov Sanford has made of his is JUST this ridiculous. I love you for going there.
OMG!!! Some of you are just idiots! this is not REAL!!! go to the “about discust” tab and it tells you this is a parody site…this is how crap gets spread about people…by IDIOTS!
Please retract this unfunny article. Obviously you’re not doing your job if you have to add “The editorial content of this site is satire and parody”.
No, you lighten up. Some of us are actually fighting for rights and equality. Here you are stomping and throwing it all away.
Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay,” Sanford said, “but he may as well be. The moral decay in this country has claimed another victim and this time it was my family. Our marriage was perfect until these laws started passing around the country. Clearly the slow dissolution of the sanctity of marriage in America seeped into Mark’s psyche until he no longer felt compelled to abide by our vows.”
Whoever said this was super ignorant. If someone is in love they are in love. no matter gender or race or age. and obviously she wasnt doing it for him. straight marriges are in no way superior to gay marriges. the ones thing a female can give a man a man cant is a child. and there are plenty to chose from that need good homes. So if a man marring a man has nothing to do with you and your future then keep to yourself and let someone else be happy
The sheer stupidity and denial in these statements are far to over the top to not laugh out loud. Jenny Sanford has only shown that she can’t deal with reality and instead play monkey points a finger.
The blame game never works.
Religion destroyed marriage YEARS ago.
Are you kidding me! The guy cheapened his own marriage…not two innocent gay individuals who love each other and are committed to each other…unlike the Sandfords. Wow…talk about disinformation and propaganda. And you know there are some people out there who will buy this hook link and sinker, despite how ridiculous this is. My husband and I have been married 34 years and having other people enjoy the institution of marriage does nothing but strengthen our commitment.
their response: ‘we like where she’s going with this”… because they have someone else to blame for his mistakes! give me a break!
If this is true then SC has morons running their state. Rusg Limbaugh says anything, ANYTHING JUST TO GET PRESS TIME. The best thing is to laugh at the fat pig and don’t give him the satisfaction of getting angry. What destroyed Mark Sanford’s marriage apparently his wife wasn’t spicy enough to keep his attention. No one’s morals can take the blame for some ones lack of morals. The devil didn’t make him do it his penis did. If these conservative prudes would understand their bodies a little more instead of repressing them. Things like this wouldn’t happen. Do we blame someone else when we don’t put oil in our car and lock up the engine. So take responsibility woman. Its your fault for being cold and ridgid instead of being a warm and interesting. Its so easy to blame other people for you own mistakes. Be an adult, show some intelligence. When Rush Limbaugh agrees with you that’s the first sign your stupid
Ok, I had respect for Jenny Sanford for not standing by her man. But with this stupid statement that Gay Marriage ruined her marriage is BS!!!!. He had an affair with a woman! He didn’t have a gay affair then marry a man! For an educated woman she is really stupid. And for the record SC banned Gay Marriage a few years ago so how does something that is legal in other states effect her!! I say ship them both to Argentina!!1
Hilarious! So which so-called ‘Christian’ southern state is going to be the foremost in mistreating its gay citizens? (I know Texas and Utah also want to join this cult…)
Maybe someday the bigots will be able to succeed from the USA (Texas story again) so that they can bring back slavery—which would make many white people so happy…..
Ignorance seems to be the chosen form of bliss for all republicans. Your husband is solely responsible for his actions as am I responsible for my actions to fight for my equality. I have so much more to say, but to waste it on your stupidity is really diverting my energy away from the truth and honesty of who I am and what I need to do to live freely.
Mrs. Sanford..
Please don’t blame US for the dissolution of your marraige.. how about your FRIGID & INSANITY, and your inability to satisfy your man.. The Gay Culture had NOTHING to do with you being a bitch…..
… And, fortunately, parody. Whew!
Wait…this was a joke. William Moultrie=Ass.
Every single page on this site is marked as satire and has been since day one. Please scroll to the bottom. Also, the slogan that appears alongside the logo on every page, “Because in South Carolina, we expect more than just the truth,” should tip you off as well. Some satire is more subtle than others and this one may be more believable because we’ve similar opinions expressed. I apologize to anyone who mistook this for fact, but urge you to not trust everything you read, hear or see. Fox news doesn’t put a disclaimer on their news that it might not be true, but according to a recent court decision, their news needn’t be any more accurate than my satire.
I hope no one will do her hair now.
What a dumb bitch…if she’s this stupid, then maybe she needs to look in the mirror for the answer that her husband went somewhere else for love.
It’s really old when people blame their problems on others instead of trying to find out what really went wrong.
And to think that I felt sorry for the woman until I read this article.
what a nut job and wacko to blame gay marriage on the reason her husband had an affair – look in the mirror sister! He’s going out and finding what you ain’t giving him at home!
What jaw-dropping hubris — and such a basic disconnect from reality. These two can’t go away fast enough for the modern world.
WOW… now that is laughable.
Well, by the type of comments and the vast number of comments, it’s clear what you (the author of this “article”) are doing is not working. Yes, I had to check your “about” page to verify my hopes that this was satire. It may be intended to be satirical, but it’s not funny. And, worse, it is damaging and hurtful.
There are a great many people who have read your piece and believed it to be true. I can see from all the Twitter mentions that you have now made a great many people believe that Mrs. Sanford is a horrible person, and yes, you have just reinforced for some that gay marriage is the evil they assumed. I’ll assume you do not believe that to be true, and if so, you have chosen a poor way of showing your support to the millions of lesbian and gay Americans who are working so hard for equality.
I am no lawyer, but your “disclaimer” being on a different page, in my opinion, is at best misleading.
I urge you to label this piece, and your site, more clearly. “The Onion” can do what it does because it is a brand, and has a reputation. You do not. Please reconsider what you are doing here. You have done enough damage already.
I urge you to publish an explanation and a retraction, and, an apology.
Here I am, a gay man, watching this news with so much sympathy for this poor woman and actually applauding her for not doing the “stand by your man” routine and she goes and says something so hateful and patently misguided. To blame gay Americans for her marital troubles shows me that she is more deluded than I first thought. Look within, Mrs. Sanford, as to your actions concerning your marriage before you cast stones on a whole class of people you obviously do not know and who have nothing to do with your present predicament.
Remove this article… there’s a fine line between satire and black pr and to do it to someone suffering like this is just pure fucking evil… William Moultrie, you are an asshat…
ARE YOU BLOODY KIDDING ME?
Please take this article down – it is causing all sorts of confusion and unfair backlash at a woman who’s actually standing up for herself.
If you’re going to use satire to drag someone into the mud, do it to Mark, not his wife.
What’s the clever satire here? You’ve got a long way to go before you’re writing for The Onion.
if she had gun this not happen
The fact here is simple – Gov. Sanford could not keep his zipper shut – we gay people had nothing to do with it…….is Mrs. Sanford actually thinking that we gay people forced her husband into screwing women from New York to Argentina????? And of course,Rush Obese Limbaugh has to add his insane and asinine comments as well. The drugs must be making him say what idiotic statements he’s making. This is, as the saying goes, too funny for Hollywood………hey Mrs. Sanford – stop blaming other people for your own failings….it’s called – taking responsibility.
Hard to say which is more stupid: This bit of alleged “humor” or the idiot commenters who think it’s a real story.
Wait – is this article for real or satire? I thought it was real (however absurd) until the quote about Sanford going to hell.
Seriously, I can’t tell if this is true or not. How pathetic some of these people have become that I lost the ability to distiguish crazy from reality.
The Stanford family should stop blaming other people for the failure of their own families, fact of the matter is that Mark Stanford went to Argentina by himself of his own free will, decided to get naked of his own free will and then had sex with her on his own free will, gay marriage is legal in 6 states and you don’t see me going around outsourcing my love life to someone in another country.
Please don’t blame gays for your failed marriage. I am confident your marital problems occurred before gay marriage became legal in some states. Rather than blaming others, please take responsibility for your actions which led to the downfall of your own marriage. Gays are not to blame for the declining values of marriage, the fault goes to those hypocrites who think highly of themselves yet can’t practice what they preach. Maybe instead of blaming gays, “first lady” Sanford should start acting as a lady, recognize her ignorance, and accept how gays have more successful relationships than her abomination of a marriage.
Good job on the ‘realness’ of a fake story. ::chuckles::
I know this is a joke, but it really wouldn’t surprise me. I mean Rush (where’s my Oxycontin) Limbaugh did blame this on President Obama…for real!!!
Really should label this more blatantly…people all over are being deceived into thinking this is true.
Looks like arguably libel to me…and really not funny at all.
ok folks- you all do realize that this newspaper is like “The Onion” and the story is just a well written joke.
The fact that we all think it COULD be true is scary but in this case the quotes and the story are not true.
To Jenny -
With all due respect, I think you should blame your husband’s affair on him and him only, as it was his choice to have an affair, and it is is responsibility to live with his choices and the resulting consequences of them. In every human adult’s lifetime throughout the history of humankind, choices are constantly made as a result of our ability for freewill, and the vast majority of adults exhibit a healthy understanding of the morals of love and hate and many of the sub-morals that fall underneath both to help guide us to make choices that benefit them and others. This doesn’t change no matter where and what time period you live on this planet. Especially with respect to someone in such a leadership role as a Governor of a U.S. state, to blame his actions on such a grandiose, sweeping concept such as “the declining moral values in America” is akin to doing a complete 180 reversal and running away from your individual responsibility, which is a shame.
I would like to understand what you mean by “Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay” with respect to the need to add the words “of course.” Either someone is gay or not gay, and I don’t see a need to add a qualifier to suggest a connotation, as all people LGBT and straight are entitled to dignity, respect and full equal civil human rights, as demographical straights such as sexual orientation are irrelevant to the person’s freewill towards love or hate, good or evil.
I fail to see how homosexual marriage affects, let alone damages, the “sanctity” of marriage between a male and a female. Again, sexual orientation is irrelevant, and it is our choices we make within our relationships and our responsibility we claim to those choices that affect the sanctity of relationships. To put it simply, if two gay people marry, and you’re not a part of your life, then their gay marriage doesn’t affect your life, and you continue to live your life as you would, while the married gay couple does the same. Accordingly, is it once again your choices that you make that affect your own relationships, and people should be adults to own up to these choices, no matter how simple or complex, easy or difficult.
After reading this article, I would wonder what kind of good example that you make towards the rest of society by deciding to cast away your blame onto others instead of being adults, using your mind to think through the situation and being held accountable for what you do. An American exercises his or her civil rights, but a true American exercises her or his civil rights and takes responsibility for the rights exercised. I implore you to do the same.
Sincerely,
Sean
NO this article is SATIRE – FAKE … please read the Editor’s comment section. Don’t be so quick to read and believe folks!
Are you guys fucking retarded? This isn’t real…
Purely satire, folks.
I am absolutely disgusted by this woman’s ignorant comments. How dare she? Really. How dare she? Completely flabbergasted and appalled. Shame on you, Mrs. Sanford. Blame your husbands obviously raging heterosexual urges, if anything. Not gay marriage.
this does not seem like a true and legit story…since none of the quotes (like Keith Olberman’s Worst Person in the World bit) can be found anywhere on the ‘net…
Please, put a satire warning on this… too many people are being fooled…
BTW… I’m SURE this is a spoof but it sure riled some folks! LOL!
Wow, what isn’t satire is the misogynist comments on this thread. I’m always amazed at how quickly the ‘progressive’ left turns to judging women on their appearance, engaging in homophobia or transphobia to make a point (yeah, like the Ann Coulter is a trans woman joke from people on the left really motivates me to keep fighting for “our side”).
MikeNYC, what the hell? That’s your only response to the right? No wonder the Republican party still has support, you’re not exactly providing an alternative. Learn to debate points and issues, or leave it to those who can. This kind of comment only alienates people within the left and plays to the right’s worst attitudes.
EQUALITY4ALL, so, does that equality extend to not calling women ‘lesbos’ as an insult (Hi! Lesbo right here, thanks!), or suggesting that they are bitches who are bad in bed and thus drive their men to cheat?
It is show-stopping that the first lady of SC, who presented so much notable pluck, good sense and discipline up to now, is the source of these truly nutty comments about gay marriage and other liberal values ruining her marriage. It took only three to tango into this: Jenny, Belén and Mark. When you look for abstract scapegoats to blame on the demise of your marriage, it really is time to exit the helm of SC. In Jenny Sanford’s irrational remarks we may finally see a glimpse of what agitates the Sanford’s troubled marriage.
Is this … is this article for real?
In today’s New York Times (1 July) it is reported that Governor Sanford had other trysts or affairs before he met his lovely Argentine girlfriend. I wonder if those prior escapades were also a direct result of public support for equality and gay marriage. Mrs. Sanford is cleverly combining her personal (clearly anti-gay) views with her marital predicament. Her “argument,” while novel, is clearly self-serving. But is she really an innocent victim? My suspicion is that either she drove her man into the arms of other women with her peculiar views; or else HE is a complete and hopeless philanderer and he has been at it all his life. Leave the gays out of this – we’re just innocent bystanders!
With all due respect to the First Lady; that lament is absolutely base, inflammatory, defamatory tripe! Rubbish! Really???
Men do not cheat because of laws! Did she truly think that this was the most, lucid, rational, important or contributory statement she could have made? Really??? It’s embarrassing.
For a grown woman, parent and American to concatenate the destruction of her, clearly flawed, marriage to the relationships of GLBTI couples is ludicrous in the extreme. It’s as laughable as “the Butler did it”.
Stop it! How dare she!?
That said, however, I empathize with the obvious pain that she and her family must be suffering in such a personal matter. Especially while it is being played out for the world to see. That CANNOT be easy and I wish you the soonest and most complete healing of this wound.
Be Blessed.
Ack! You’re right… I missed the “satire” part… I’ve gotten used to seeing things at least this crazy that WEREN’T satire… This really didn’t seem out of place.
Kudos to New England and Iowa for supporting marriage.
I’m busy this summer officiating for couples who are coming to CT to wed from around the country because they aren’t allowed to do so in their own home states just yet. Are you listening Mr Obama, or have you forgotten America’s laws against inter-racial marriages of a few short decades ago? End DOMA, and DADT, etc…now.
Cheers, Joe Mustich, Justice of the Peace,
Washington, Connecticut
Kudos to civil marriage. And kudos to America for supporting freedom of religion and freedom from religion.
And to the marriage foes, find something else to do with your time because life’s too short. Find love…
And re the Sanfords…..bye, bye hypocrites….
Wait a second – this woman’s husband has an affair with a WOMAN, and yet it’s Gay Marriage ruining her marriage?
I think Governor Jenny needs to invest in some psychotherapy.
Give the lady a break.. I know it’s a joke, but come on… She’s been through enough, and based on the comments on this article, people that are first time visitors don’t seem to be aware that it is satire.
REALLY…and tell me those two in the pic don’t look like Lesbos
Get real…Sanford probably sucked or didn’t suck in bed that led to the affair…uptight white B*tch
I totally agree with Olberman! She wants to displace the problem that her husban was cheating on her by placing it on gay marriage. Notice that Americans are fighting for rights OF marriage…not rights of leaving their spouses! Jenny, you need to suck it up and deal with it like an adult. Don’t go around pointing your fingers at everyone else saying “oh, it was the gays that got in his head” and “they just tried to ruin my marriage.” Honey, it takes two to tango. I think you and Mark need to take a long hard look in the mirror and place the blame at yourselves and not other people! You’re an adult. And being an adult, you should take responsibility for your own actions. If you can’t handle that, you need to leave the office. South Carolina needs someone who can hold themselves and our state up!
“Sanford didn’t cheapen the value of marriage, he was victimized by the cheapening of marriage.” You have got to be kidding me! So now it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t keep his thing in his pants, it was because some one half a country away, got married to their partner. I see – let’s not take responsibility for our own actions is the new GOP moto. ::shakes head:: anything to skirt responsibility. Unbelievable.
his own lack of character did him in, noone made him lie to his constituents or his wife, he had freedom to chose right from wrong and he chose wickedness and corruptness. He should be impeached and divorced.. I am not a gay supporter but cant blame this on them. Get real
It’s pretty obvious from her pictures why her husband was having affairs and I don’t think gay marriage had anything to do with it. But instead of dealing with reality, it’s always best to find a scapegoat. Jenny Sanford is the poster child for degenerating moral values in this country by blaming others for her own failures as a wife and a woman.
This fake article is in really, really bad taste…
What a nut case this woman is. Gay marriage did not ruin her marriage. What ruined her marriage is the idiocy of her ideas, her self-righteous condemnatory personality, her control freak tendencies and her failure to keep her man happy. Maybe if she was paying atttention to her man and marriage instead of running around poking her noses into other people’s bedrooms, the Governor would not have strayed to kinder and gentler arms.
To think that this woman is raising children and telling them their father will got o hell is a travesty. This should be considered child abuse. Here in the age of science, we have the First Lady of South Carolina believing in demons and goblins and actual hellfire and damnation and the other fantasies of ancient and discredited patriarchal religion. Good grief. No wonder the USA is losing its superiority.
Initially I supported her because of her display of grace, and couth. However, after these comments she has proven to be a religious white trash bigot. She is gross!
If she truly believes that the legalization of marriage equality has had a direct effect on her marriage to a man who clearly doesn’t want anything to do with her, she is above and beyond stupid!
Hey, I resemble that comment!
I did not spend Federal Stimulus money on my Chica from Argentina