NCAA suspended over handling of Cam Newton case

by William Moultrie

Indianapolis, IN – In yet another twist in the case of Auburn quarterback Cam Newton’s pay-to-play eligibility investigation, the NCAA itself has been indefinitely suspended from regulating college football.

Cam Newton

Cam Newton and his little buddy.

The Collegiate Association for Secret Holdings (CASH), a little-known organization that oversees the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA), held an emergency meeting on Wednesday to discuss the NCAA’s recent and controversial actions in the Newton case.

“Our mission is all about preserving the private nature of kickback schemes in college sports,” said CASH spokesman Bud Kilmer, “so obviously we tend to keep a low profile and work behind the scenes. But when we saw the unfolding mismanagement of this whole Newton affair, we felt we had no choice but to step in and take action.”

On Monday, as a result of an NCAA decision that rules had been violated, Auburn suspended Newton, widely assumed to be a shoo-in for the Heisman trophy. The suspension made him ineligible to play in the SEC championship game against South Carolina on Saturday as well as in any subsequent bowl games. On Tuesday, the NCAA reinstated Newton, stating that he had no knowledge of his father’s actions.

The controversy stems from the actions of Newton’s father, Cecil Newton, who allegedly attempted to solicit payment for Newton to play at Mississippi State University.

“At CASH, we have no problem with player kickbacks, but the whole point is to keep it quiet,” continued Kilmer. “The NCAA’s wavering on the Newton affair has forced us to suspend them from regulating college football until this mess can be swept under the rug. Most of us know that top players and their families do pretty well but we strive to divert attention from that and let people think what they want to think: that college sports is truly an amateur endeavor. We expect the NCAA to come down hard as soon as any of the pay schemes are uncovered to help maintain the illusion of enforcement, but their backtracking and wavering on the Newton affair is bringing unnecessary attention to the finances behind the scenes.”

CASH’s actions will halt further investigation into the Newton situation, but is not retroactive, therefore Newton is still eligible to play in the SEC championship game on Saturday.

Neither Auburn University nor the University of South Carolina would comment on the latest development.

TheDiscust attempted to interview Cecil Newton for this story but was unable to come up with the funds to compensate him for his time.

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6 comments on “NCAA suspended over handling of Cam Newton case
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  6. Alastair says:

    Maybe you could barter with Cecil, perhaps offer to repair his steeple.

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