Citibank invited to have intercourse with themselves

by William Moultrie

Charleston – A local publisher got a heaping helping of holiday cheer courtesy of South Dakota-based bank Citibank, a division of New York-based Citigroup (NYSE: C) on Sunday. The credit card giant shared the holiday spirit this year by decreasing his available credit by almost $5,000 to about $25 and letting him know via the cashier at a local Barnes & Noble when his card was declined.

“It was such a nice surprise,” said Brian Barrie, publisher of theDiscust and proprietor of Harbor Light Media. “I’ve never made any late payments and it’s nice to finally get some sort of recognition. Sure it would have been nice to have heard about it ahead of time with a letter or even a phone call, but nothing says ‘Happy Holidays’ like finding out after standing in line with a stack of Christmas presents. I love surprises.”

Citibank could not be reached for this story, but a customer service representative informed Barrie that he should expect a notice regarding his credit reduction sometime in the next few days. They also informed Barrie that their computer had attempted to call at some point on December 9.

“I just wish there was some way I could wish them the sort of happiness they’ve given me… maybe they could go fuck themselves,” Barrie said.

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Posted in Business, News of the Actual
One comment on “Citibank invited to have intercourse with themselves
  1. South Carolinian Once Removed says:

    Amen, brother Barrie. Amen.

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