Where the Progressive Folks Are
apologies to Maurice Sendak and Max
The time Lindsey wore his progressive suit and made mischief of one kind, and another
The Right called him “Wild thing!” and Lindsey said “I’ll speak my mind!” so he was sent off without their support.
That very night in Lindsey’s office the red walls turned blue, and blue, and blue until his agenda filled with climate change and his eyes saw the world all around and the ocean level rose past his ankles with a private boat for Lindsey and he sailed off through interviews and floor speeches to where the progressive folks are.
And when he came to the place where the progressive folks are, they rolled their progressive eyes and spoke their progressive talk and waved their climate bills — till Lindsey said “Wait!” and calmed them with the parlor trick of agreeing with them without blinking once.
And they were delighted and called him the most mild right wing thing of all and friended him on Facebook.
“And now,” cried Lindsey, “let the wild appreciation for me flow”
“Now stop!” Lindsey said and left the progressive folks to their own devices.
And Lindsey, the most mild right wing thing of all was worried and wanted to be re-elected most of all.
Then all around from far to the right he heard rumblings of discontent and gave up being the most mild right wing thing of all.
But the progressive folks cried, “Oh please don’t go, we’ll vote for you we want you so!” And Lindsey said, “No!”
The progressive folks roared their progressive slogans and gnashed their progressive teeth and rolled their progressive eyes and promised their voters’ support but Lindsy stepped into his private boat without saying good-bye and sailed off through interviews and floor speeches back to where the Conservative voters are and he found his support waiting for him…
…and it was luke-warm.