Blog Archives

Michael Vick hired by Gamecocks

Columbia – Contradicting published reports that he’d signed a deal with the Philadelphia Eagles, Gamecocks head ball coach Steve Spurrier announced yesterday that the USC has officially hired former Atlanta Falcon star Michael Vick despite Vick’s 18 month prison stay for dog fighting and gambling. Vick himself seemed pleased to be back in football.

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Posted in Sports

Lizard Man Merges with Chupacabra

Mayesville – Scrape Ore Swamp’s Lizard Man announced to day an impending merger with the Chupacabra, a lizard-like terror developed in Puerto Rico. The Lizard Man is a moderately famous three-fingered, nine foot tall, scaly green resident of Lee County. Puerto Rico’s Chupacabra is a well known sucker of goats on the island and believed to be of extraterrestrial origin.

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Posted in Life

Sanfords visited red light district, SLED agents claim

Amsterdam – SLED agents assigned to secretly follow the governor and his family reported today that Governor Sanford and his wife Jenny left their four sons in a hotel while they cavorted in Amsterdam’s steamy red light district.

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Posted in Life

Biden in SC for alcohol detox, Secret Service agents reveal

North Charleston – Vice President Joe Biden’s arrival for a weeklong vacation at Kiawah Island yesterday is actually a cover story for the Vice President’s stay at a North Charleston alcohol and substance abuse treatment center, theDiscust learned.

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Posted in Politics

Gorilla comment “blown way out of proportion”

New details are emerging about the gorilla slur incident that has been captivating political blogs across the state and around the country this week.

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Posted in Politics

SC strikes back at FL fish poachers, kidnaps tourists

Walterboro – South Carolina has responded quickly to reports of Florida-based dive boats depleting fishing stocks off the coast by launching a tactical strike into the heart of the sunshine state.

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Posted in Business, Life

New USC t-shirt lacks phallic reference

Columbia – School administrators are delighted at a new, seemingly less suggestive t-shirt that’s been popping up around campus this summer.

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Posted in Education, Features, Sports

We don’t boat in your toilet, don’t pee in our lake

REAL NEWS from the Greenville News

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Posted in Life, News of the Actual
The editorial content of this site is satire and parody. Real news is clearly marked. Lighten up.