Blog Archives

SC lawmaker introduces bill allowing schoolchildren to carry guns

kids_guns_front

Following last week’s massacre of 20 children and seven adults in a Newtown, Connecticut elementary school, a South Carolina lawmaker says he has a plan to end school violence once and for all — by arming the schoolchildren.

Tagged with: , , , ,
Posted in Education, Features, Politics

NCAA suspended over handling of Cam Newton case

Indianapolis, IN – In yet another twist in the case of Auburn quarterback Cam Newton’s pay-to-play eligibility investigation, the NCAA itself has been indefinitely suspended from regulating college football.

Tagged with: , , , , ,
Posted in Sports

Obama hates South Carolina, proves it with NCAA bracket

Washington, DC – Barack Obama’s unspoken disdain for South Carolina became apparent on Wednesday with the release of his official NCAA Basketball Tournament picks.

Tagged with: , , ,
Posted in Features, Politics, Sports

South Carolina avoids Texas-style textbook dilemma

Columbia – South Carolina’s textbook task force claims to have found a way to avoid all of the controversy plaguing the Texas School Board and save money at the same time.

Tagged with: , , ,
Posted in Education, Features, Politics

Sanford University Plans Underway

Columbia – With less than a year remaining of his time in office, Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina still has work left to do cementing his legacy to the state. With that legacy in mind, the governor announced plans today that should go a long way toward imprinting his collection of seven letters into the minds of our children: the founding of a university bearing his name.

Tagged with: , , , ,
Posted in Education, Features, Politics

“Cut those mother******* to the bone” says Rep. Jim Merrill

Daniel Island – Recorded conversations between Representative Jim Merrill and as yet unidentified parties on a conference have the Daniel Island Republican making apologies to everyone from Superintendent of Education Jim Rex to local education officials.

Tagged with: , ,
Posted in Education

Halloween canceled in the Upstate

Citing a concern about witchcraft, gay-oriented television shows and declining math scores across the state, leaders confirmed that local law enforcement, school officials and clergy will work together to get the word out that the Upstate will be Halloween-free in 2009.

Tagged with: , , , , ,
Posted in Features, Life, Religion

College of Charleston testing applications via Twitter

Charleston – One of the country’s oldest colleges is turning to one of the world’s newest technologies in an effort to attract more technologically ‘hip’ students. The College of Charleston is currently testing a process that would allow students to complete part of their initial enrollment application via twitter.

Tagged with: , ,
Posted in Education, Life
The editorial content of this site is satire and parody. Real news is clearly marked. Lighten up.