REAL NEWS from WSPA:

Woman Arrested After Allegedly Stuffing Sandwich Down Pants
Deputies arrived on scene and say that Turner was heard screaming at the cashier to “give her the sandwich.” When the deputy noticed the grease stain on Turner’s pants, he asked Turner to remove the food, but Turner said she did not have anything in her pants.

Read the rest at WSPA.

editor’s note,  alternate headlines:

• There’s the beef
• “Is that a sandwich in your pants, or are you… oh, it’s a sandwich”
• Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions in my panties
• more?
  

by William Moultrie

Florence – In a rare act of near-unanimous contrition, South Carolinians have admitted that they used poor judgment in the past few statewide elections. In particular, the resolution drafted at the annual Meeting of Everyone in South Carolina (MESC) addresses the failings of statewide officeholders elected in 2006. Read the full story

REAL NEWS from The State:

A Shandon resident may have extra firepower in his bid to lower the speed limit on his street.

Joel Mason, 46, was startled early this morning by a deafening crash, the sound of a hit-and-run driver smashing into his home’s Florida room.

“His engine never shut down,” Mason said. “I heard him pull out and he was gone.”

Read the rest in The State.

REAL NEWS from The State:

Roland Corning, an assistant attorney general, was pulled over by officer Michael D. Wines at 3:15 p.m. Monday, according to a Columbia Police Department report.

Wines is married to Megan Wines, who also works in the attorney general’s office. Wines called his wife during the incident to verify Corning’s identity.

Megan Wines then reported the incident to Deputy Attorney General John McIntosh, who relayed the information to Attorney General Henry McMaster, according to Trey Walker, spokesman for McMaster’s office.

Less than two hours later, Corning was no longer employed with McMaster’s office, Walker said Tuesday.

Wines wrote in his report that two people were in the car – Corning and an unnamed 18-year-old female, an “employee of Platinum Plus Gentlemen’s Club.”

Earlier, Wines had witnessed the Ford Explorer that Corning was driving pull into a secluded portion of Elmwood Cemetery that Wines had “received past complaints in ref. to illegal activity, i.e. sex acts and drug abuse,” Wines wrote in the report.

And the best part:

“At that point I asked if there was anything illegal in the vehicle, which he stated no and gave consent to search,” Wines wrote.

The search revealed a sex enhancement drug and some sex toys. According to the report, Corning told Wines he had a prescription for the medication and the other items were always in the car “just in case.”

Read the rest in The State.

REAL NEWS from the Anderson Independent Mail:

“It’s hard to work an operation when there’s a hooker down the block telling everybody the ‘po-po’s’ out tonight,” said Sgt. Mike Binninger.

A second location, this one near the corner of West Whitner and Boyd Street, was soon chosen and the decoy was dropped off.

The same 12 team members crouched in the shadows, some as close as an arm’s length.

Within minutes, a man had approached the hooker he didn’t know. This time, the man approached on foot, and offered her $3 for service.

He was handcuffed and in the back of a patrol car within 90 seconds, and she was back on her corner, ready for another round.

By 11:30, the operation had ended because several members of the team were called to another location.

Read the rest in the Anderson Independent Mail.

REAL NEWS from WCSC:

On August 29, an 18-year-old man and his cousin pulled into the drive-thru at the McDonald’s on Savannah Highway for a couple of chicken sandwiches. Instead of sandwiches, the two found bags of marijuana and a loaded handgun.

“It was the gun and the marijuana that was inside of a brown bag sitting inside of a McDonald’s bag,” said Kathy Rivera, whose son found the gun in his bag. “They noticed they had three bags. There were only two people in the car, so when he opened it he noticed it.”

Read the rest from WCSC

by Ashley Phosphate

Columbia – Contradicting published reports that he’d signed a deal with the Philadelphia Eagles, Gamecocks head ball coach Steve Spurrier announced yesterday that the USC has officially hired former Atlanta Falcon star Michael Vick despite Vick’s 18-month prison stay for dog fighting and gambling.  Vick himself seemed pleased to be back in football.  Read the full story

by Ashley Phosphate

Santee – House Majority Whip Henry Clyburn announced that an agreement has been reached to end the long controversial holding of terror suspects on Guantanamo Bay.  The plan will involve housing the 200+ detainees on a state of the art “floating Alcatraz” Clyburn said. Read the full story