When we launched theDiscust three months ago, we knew we’d be devoting a lot of ink to Governor Sanford. He was uptight, uninteresting, frugal — there’s a lot to ridicule in there. We had no way of knowing how far he would go to keep us from writing those stories.
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So, here’s the past three months in the life of our Governor as told by our staff (with brief summary/gist):
- 5/18: Gov. Sanford Refuses “$1.00 off” Coupon — Our famously frugal governor in action
- 5/27: Gov. Sanford Throws Guilt Trip on Graduates – “…to think you sought out help from the government to get this worthless piece of paper.”
- 6/1: Sanford, Legislature compromise: SC to secede from USA, accept stimulus funds as foreign aid – not as crazy/unlikely as it sounds
- 6/22: URGENT: Amber Alert issued for Gov. Sanford — this is where the fun started
- 6/23: FOUND: Gov. Sanford in undisclosed location outside Conway – turns out a storage unit would have been more believable than the reality
- 6/23: Sanford Sightings Abound — …and ‘Marco Sanfordchez’ wasn’t far off the mark.
- 6/24: Sanford disappearance highlights epidimic of vanishings — Sanford was still missing, and so were your neighbors
- 6/24: BREAKING NEWS: Sanford’s lover revealed; news conference scheduled in Buenos Aires Thursday — we scooped the world announcing the Gov. was shacking up with the first lady of Argentina
- 6/26: Dear South Carolina (an open letter from Gov. Sanford to SC) – a touching plea to the citizens and press written in tribute to Michael Jackson using over 60 of MJ’s song titles.
- 6/29: SC Newspapers unite in urging Sanford not to resign – times are tough for SC newspapers and they know a cash cow when they see it
- 6/30: Jenny Sanford: “Gay marriage wrecked my family” — you probably read this one, or just 38,191 people other than you did
- 7/2: Sanford Sex Scandal Tours to boost state’s economy – there’s always a buck to be made when there’s a scandal (ask the newspapers)
- 7/2: Sanford won’t resign, suggests in-school suspension – “I know I’ve been naughty, but I don’t think I should be kicked out”
- 7/6: Hillary to Jenny: “Stand by your man!” — Hillary tries to advise Jenny, Jenny demurs
- 7/8: Mark Sanford to Sarah Palin: “Grow up.” — Sarah Palin quits, Sanford thinks she’s a wimp
7/17: Governor’s e-mails reveal soft spot for luxury cruises, puppies — an inside look at the Governor’s e-mails
- 7/23: Mark Sanford announces 2012 Presidential bid in Munich beer hall – an unconventional governor; an unconventional campaign
- 7/27: Fed up with Sanford, SC moves while he’s away – there’s only so much 4.5 million people can take before they just have to leave
- 8/4: Cash for clunkers funds opposed by legislators, governor — back to the job of actual governing(ish)
- 8/7: Sanfords visited red light district, SLED agents claim — my Governor went to a porn shop in Amsterdam and all I got was this lousy… wait, what is this thing?
- 8/18: Maria overshadows Jenny yet again — Jenny Sanford gets a nice feature in Vogue, Maria Belen Chapur scores the cover of Elle (in Argentina)
In case we haven’t said it before, thank you Governor Sanford, and hang in there — we think you should stay in office as long as possible.
