When we launched theDiscust three months ago, we knew we’d be devoting a lot of ink to Governor Sanford. He was uptight, uninteresting, frugal — there’s a lot to ridicule in there. We had no way of knowing how far he would go to keep us from writing those stories.
So, here’s the past three months in the life of our Governor as told by our staff (with brief summary/gist):
- 5/18: Gov. Sanford Refuses “$1.00 off” Coupon — Our famously frugal governor in action
- 5/27: Gov. Sanford Throws Guilt Trip on Graduates – “…to think you sought out help from the government to get this worthless piece of paper.”
- 6/1: Sanford, Legislature compromise: SC to secede from USA, accept stimulus funds as foreign aid – not as crazy/unlikely as it sounds
- 6/22: URGENT: Amber Alert issued for Gov. Sanford — this is where the fun started
- 6/23: FOUND: Gov. Sanford in undisclosed location outside Conway – turns out a storage unit would have been more believable than the reality
- 6/23: Sanford Sightings Abound — …and ‘Marco Sanfordchez’ wasn’t far off the mark.
- 6/24: Sanford disappearance highlights epidimic of vanishings — Sanford was still missing, and so were your neighbors
- 6/24: BREAKING NEWS: Sanford’s lover revealed; news conference scheduled in Buenos Aires Thursday — we scooped the world announcing the Gov. was shacking up with the first lady of Argentina
- 6/26: Dear South Carolina (an open letter from Gov. Sanford to SC) – a touching plea to the citizens and press written in tribute to Michael Jackson using over 60 of MJ’s song titles.
- 6/29: SC Newspapers unite in urging Sanford not to resign – times are tough for SC newspapers and they know a cash cow when they see it
- 6/30: Jenny Sanford: “Gay marriage wrecked my family” — you probably read this one, or just 38,191 people other than you did
- 7/2: Sanford Sex Scandal Tours to boost state’s economy – there’s always a buck to be made when there’s a scandal (ask the newspapers)
- 7/2: Sanford won’t resign, suggests in-school suspension – “I know I’ve been naughty, but I don’t think I should be kicked out”
- 7/6: Hillary to Jenny: “Stand by your man!” — Hillary tries to advise Jenny, Jenny demurs
- 7/8: Mark Sanford to Sarah Palin: “Grow up.” — Sarah Palin quits, Sanford thinks she’s a wimp
- 7/17: Governor’s e-mails reveal soft spot for luxury cruises, puppies — an inside look at the Governor’s e-mails
- 7/23: Mark Sanford announces 2012 Presidential bid in Munich beer hall – an unconventional governor; an unconventional campaign
- 7/27: Fed up with Sanford, SC moves while he’s away – there’s only so much 4.5 million people can take before they just have to leave
- 8/4: Cash for clunkers funds opposed by legislators, governor — back to the job of actual governing(ish)
- 8/7: Sanfords visited red light district, SLED agents claim — my Governor went to a porn shop in Amsterdam and all I got was this lousy… wait, what is this thing?
- 8/18: Maria overshadows Jenny yet again — Jenny Sanford gets a nice feature in Vogue, Maria Belen Chapur scores the cover of Elle (in Argentina)
In case we haven’t said it before, thank you Governor Sanford, and hang in there — we think you should stay in office as long as possible.