Michele Bachmann leaving MN because of gay marriage law, sets sights on SC

by William Moultrie

Washington, DC – Conservative Republican firebrand, Tea Party darling, and former presidential contender Representative Michele Bachmann has announced that she will be leaving her adopted home state of Minnesota following the passage of a new law legalizing same-sex marriage in the state.

Minnesota gay marriage law prompts Michele Bachman to eye a move to South Carolina

Bachmann looks to continue her political career in a state where politicians are held to lower standards.

“I’m not leaving Minnesota, Minnesota has left me and has left behind the biblical principals upon which this great nation was founded” said Bachmann at a press conference held just hours after Governor Mark Dayton signed the historic bill. “If I wanted to live in Soddom, I’d plant my roots right here in DC.”

“Marcus and I are committed to getting out of Minnesota as soon as possible,” Bachmann continued. “I can’t tell you how many times every day he tells me how icky he finds the thought of homosexuality, and I know he means it because he gets all worked up about it and is virtually out of breath and gasping for air when he tells me how gross he thinks it is when he calls in the middle of the night on those four or five times a week when he works really late at his office or is visiting a client.”

The Minnesota state senate passed the bill 37-30 and Dayton signed it on Tuesday making the state the 12th in the nation to legalize same-sex marriage.

“I’ve seen this coming for a while and I’ve been doing research on a suitable place for my family to relocate and I keep coming back to South Carolina,” said Bachmann. “I spent an awful lot of time there during the last presidential election and I can tell you that they are good christian souls who don’t stand for this kind of buggery.”

Some analysts are suggesting that Bachmann is actually setting the stage for another presidential run by moving to the key primary state enabling her to spend much more time with potential voters, but she has denied such motivations.

“I’m not moving to South Carolina to run for president,” said Bachmann, “but I am looking into moving to the 1st Congressional District where (former governor Mark) Sanford just won his election. It appears their standards are pretty flexible, and those are the kind of voters I can relate to.”

 

Tagged with: , , , , , ,
Posted in Features, Politics
24 comments on “Michele Bachmann leaving MN because of gay marriage law, sets sights on SC
  1. dealzva.com says:

    I read this piece of writing fully about the difference of newest and previous technologies, it’s amazing article.

  2. What’s up Dear, are you actually visiting this website daily, if so after
    that you will absolutely get nice experience.

  3. briefs says:

    Picking out your perfect swimwear could possibly
    be harder than you think. The first sort of teddy appeared inside
    the 1910′s at the moment that it was called an envelope chemise or camiknickers.

    Petite women will adore body hugging leather that flaunts their slim
    figure, while slimming lace is beautiful for plus women.

  4. Lingerie UK says:

    For a woman, getting wearing the morning is often an irritating venture, considering the pressure that society instills.
    Well some may look natural enough to the untrained eye yet,
    if your bottom is out of proportion for a body people may turn to
    wonder. Your bustline will grow inside pregnancy so, the maternity bras needs to be without underwire.

  5. Lingerie UK says:

    For a woman, getting wearing the morning is often an irritating venture, considering the pressure that society instills.
    Well some may look natural enough to the untrained eye yet,
    if your bottom is out of proportion for a body people may turn to
    wonder. Your bustline will grow inside pregnancy so, the maternity bras needs to be without underwire.

  6.  You can conveniently use itÂ
    during your leisure time.
    They admitted to knowing about the sedurity flaw in its program that left it exposed to the breach for months,
    but failed to provide a fix. In cases where the
    cyberbully has a personal relationship with the target child, thhe cyberbully provokes the child into reactionary
    behaviors.

  7. Junko says:

    You will always have access to this member’s place
    once your payment is received by us. After that, install OpenSSH by opening cydia .

    What is the most essential thing in a mobile phone?

  8. Listed below are hill climb racing cheats going to develop.

    Bobby Carrot Forever is spawned from one dining room and four hundred free
    coins which the modern technology, you may want to play as well.
    Entertainment is very necessary to develop the standard block of 25 mini-game testing.
    It moves much faster you can fold the living dead.

  9. erekcja says:

    The brand of Moda in pelle provides extremely stylish, durable and comfortable shoes.
    It compares the design of vintage motorcycles to today’s models.
    The Fashion Industry is totally focused on how
    people look and larger people do not figure
    on mainstream fashion’s radar.

  10. The answers to angry birds go cheats the opponent’s defense.
    However, these games provide entertainment value to our mobiles.

  11. Preparing factual forecasts is crucial to the success of one’s business and you will find your actual growth of one’s business utilizing these statistics WordPress Seo
    seeing a zero balance on charge card statements is actually impossible to
    realize when it is possible to only pay for the minimum amount due every month.

  12. gefickt says:

    Spot on with this write-up, I truly believe this website needs
    much more attention. I’ll probably be returning to read through more, thanks
    for the advice!

  13. Tory says:

    Video wallpaper is some type of videos that playing on your iPhone background.
    Use cydia to implement any upgrade from Changes button/tab.
    4) Fix broken displays and other miscellaneous
    hardware problems with iPhones.

  14. If you’re searching for a program that may hack the sport Dungeon Hunter
    4, we have the answer and that is Dungeon Hunter 4 Hack.

  15. Can I simply say what a relief to discover somebody that
    truly knows what they’re discussing online. You certainly understand
    how to bring an issue to light and make it important.
    A lot more people should read this and understand this
    side of your story. I was surprised that you are not more popular given that you surely
    have the gift.

    my page Odpowiedni Jadlospis Ciekawe Informacje

  16. This is because there are restaurants so famous that they
    are worth a special visit down the city length and breadth for a good time.
    The Ithaa Undersea Restaurant in Maldives is the place where people can have dinner at 5 meters below the sea level
    of the Indain Ocean and watch beautiful coral reef and fish.
    Instead of trying to get ‘a’ job, work to win ‘the job’, your dream job.
    Again, the exponential growth of fast food chains, food courts
    and industrial catering has boosted the global sales of POS software.
    But good food should also come with excellent customer service.
    You should have a checklist for special events that might happen in your restaurant.
    There are professional consultants, who can help people planning to start any type of food-related trades
    like a food truck business. States vary as to whether gun carriers can drink alcoholic beverages, but many or most states forbid gun carry ‘while
    under the influence’ of alcohol or other drugs, at least while concealing their weapons.

  17. Hi there, for all time i used to check blog posts here in the early hours in the
    morning, as i enjoy to learn more and more.

  18. I don’t even know the way I ended up here, however I thought this submit used
    to be good. I don’t realize who you might be
    but certainly you are going to a famous blogger in case you are not already.

    Cheers!

  19. Thanks for a marvelous posting! I quite enjoyed reading it, you are
    a great author. I will be sure to bookmark your blog and
    will eventually come back very soon. I want to encourage you to definitely continue your great writing, have a nice holiday
    weekend!

  20. phyto sc says:

    Heya! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers?
    My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing a few
    months of hard work due to no back up. Do you have any solutions to protect against
    hackers?

  21. gay films says:

    He still looks like he’s twenty five. Amazing.

    Here is my web blog … gay films

  22. Missed it says:

    :…when he works really late at his office or is visiting a client.” She missed the last four words completely or she is as big a moron as I believe her to be!

  23. happy! says:

    Hey Michelle,

    Let me know if you need us to help you pack. Ill have all my gay friends, and my partner over at your house within the hour. Ill even make the door kick you on the way out. Peace out ya bigot.

  24. Matt Phillips says:

    He’s working late at the office four or five times a week and going out of his way to talk about how icky he thinks homosexuality is, is he? Hmmm. Was she born yesterday?

1 Pings/Trackbacks for "Michele Bachmann leaving MN because of gay marriage law, sets sights on SC"
  1. [...] Are the wrong people moving to South Carolina? If this article is for real, I'm glad she apparently isn't moving to Columbia, and I think I'm leaving SC ASAP! Michele Bachmann leaving MN because of gay marriage, eyes SC | [...]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

The editorial content of this site is satire and parody. Real news is clearly marked. Lighten up.