Trump to unemployed in SC: What’s your problem?

by William Moultrie

Myrtle Beach, SC – Donald Trump has yet to officially announce any presidential aspirations, but his rhetoric seems aimed at wooing the business leaders and Tea Partiers of the state’s Republican party.

Is Donald Trump South Carolina's cup of tea?

Is Donald Trump South Carolina's cup of tea?

In a stop on the Grand Strand Thursday, Trump spoke to business leaders at the local chamber of commerce and addressed South Carolina’s high unemployment rate.

“I don’t understand what these people are doing that they can’t find a job,” said Trump. “We’ve all had tough times. Hell, not too long ago I was so far in debt I had to borrow millions from my family to keep from losing a casino — but did you see me begging for unemployment checks from the government? Hell no! A real man can take care of business himself.”

“What is your problem that you can’t work it out?” Trump continued. “Sure, maybe you didn’t inherit hundreds of millions of dollars from your father like I did, but does that man you can’t be a billionaire too? I have no doubt that if I’d been raised attending public schools in South Carolina instead of private academies in New York, I would be every bit as successful right now as I am today. The fact that I started out rich has absolutely no bearing on my current personal wealth.”

Trump said that in addition to “testing the waters” for his potential presidential bid, he was looking at possible investments in Myrtle Beach, noting that it was one of the few east coast beach destinations that lacked a Trump-branded resort.

“Myrtle Beach is an old school beach resort, but with a little splash of Trump, we can class this place up and get some high-quality tourists in here. You’ve already got plenty of good-looking broads, you just need to draw the old rich guys like me to round it out.”

The coast isn’t the only place Trump is looking to invest.

“Also,” Trump continued, “I have been trying to establish a Donald Trump School of Business at the University of South Carolina. I’ve had ongoing discussions with (Governor Nikki) Haley and she seems amenable, but she said there was some housecleaning that needed to be taken care of first, so we’ll have to wait and see on that.”

Tagged with: , , , , ,
Posted in Business, Features, Politics
3 comments on “Trump to unemployed in SC: What’s your problem?
  1. Mike says:

    Does this jerk really have a clue.

  2. Boz Martin says:

    Good to see you are picking up on the “TRUMP PAVILION TOWERS CASINO” meme.

  3. Lisa says:

    Yes Trump your right. It’s sink or swim for every American Citizen that doesn’t have a rich family. Good luck running for president. I hope your enjoying your $1,000 yearly tax bill

    Blah Blah Blah

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

The editorial content of this site is satire and parody. Real news is clearly marked. Lighten up.