South Carolina governed by sketchy characters

by Brian Barrie
special counter-satirical April Fools commentary

Charleston, SC – What do you call tax cheats, a campaign finance violators, and an adulterous stalkers who win elections? In South Carolina we call it government.

Welcome to the big house.

Welcome to the big house.

Here at theDiscust, the absurdity of politics in this state makes our job of satirizing our leaders easier, but we’d rather have to work a little harder. As it is, there’s little we can we can pull out of the dark corners of our imagination that isn’t plausible with this crew.

We wanted to take a moment on this special day, while everyone else is trying to pull one over on you, to make a straight and honest plea to our fellow South Carolinians: Please, please, please take a long hard look at what’s going on in Columbia and take notes, because most or all of these folks could be running for reelection in 2014.

It’s no secret that most of us at theDiscust support politicians from the left over those from the right, but we also prefer sane, competent, law-abiding politicians over what we’re stuck with at the moment.

How are we supposed to write biting political satire about a governor who is committed to cutting taxes and protecting folks with big salaries when she artificially inflates her own salary and rarely pays her own taxes?

Where are we supposed to go with the Lt. governor who raised campaign funds by literally saying that he wasn’t going to spend your money at Walmart, and then went ahead and spent your money at Walmart?

It turns out that politics in South Carolina is satire all by itself. We are living in an actual state of parody.

We’ve all heard the James Petigru quote about our state being too small to be a nation and too large to be an insane asylum, and while we’re arguably still be too small to be a nation, we’re clearly becoming an asylum for the insane. And of course, that means that we keep electing the same people and keep expecting different results.

So, to the politicians: cut the crap; to the voters: wake up and pay attention; and to the whole state: do better and make us work for it, we don’t mind.

That’s it, we’ll be back with the satire next week.

Brian Barrie (aka William Moultrie)
Editor and Publisher, theDiscust.com


We had nothing to do with the production of this video, but it seems appropriate for the topic.

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Posted in Commentary, Features

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