Revealed: Charlie Sheen rants are scripted… by Chuck Lorre

by William Moultrie

Hollywood, CA – Charlie Sheen may be “winning,” but behind every winning actor is a talented writer and this case is no exception. TheDiscust has exclusively learned that the scribe behind Sheen’s recent ranting and raving is none other than his supposed nemesis, Chuck Lorre.

Charlie Sheen and Chuck Lorre are... duh... Winning!

Charlie Sheen and Chuck Lorre are... duh... Winning!

“Brilliant!” said Richard Brewer, a publicist with Tunstall PR in Los Angeles. “It’s not easy to get the better of the cynical Hollywood media, but Sheen and Lorre have certainly succeeded. I’m amazed they managed to take it this far without anybody catching on.”

An extensive investigation of the trash cans outside of Lorre’s led theDiscust to discover scripts that were nearly identical to recent Charlie Sheen tirades, but were dated several months before Lorre and Sheen had their “falling out.”

“Busted,” admitted Lorre when confronted with the evidence. “The truth is that Charlie and I were both growing a little weary of ‘Two and a Half Men’ but we didn’t want to just end the show, so we cooked up an idea where we could mix things up a bit and maybe generate some publicity at the same time.  I never thought it could ever get this big — that’s all Charlie, when he plays a role, he really goes for it.”

Sheen, apparently still in character and not knowing the ruse had been revealed, was unavailable to comment from the jacuzzi in his limousine as he made his way to his next talk show gig.

Reactions from the Hollywood studios were mixed, but there was widespread agreement that this stunt would  pay off for both men.

“I have to admit I was kind of pissed when I heard that it wasn’t real,” said Charles Crawford, an executive at Warner Brothers, “but the kind of publicity they’ve generated is the stuff of legends. I can’t remember anything on this scale ever being pulled off before — these guys are going to be able to do whatever they want. Studios will be throwing money at them.”

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Posted in Entertainment, Features

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