NFL looking at South Carolina as a temporary home

by William Moultrie

New York, NY – As labor negotiations drag on between the National Football League (NFL) and the NFL Players Association (NFLPA), the league is considering several options to play in the Fall, including moving the entire league to a temporary home in a non-union state.

Coming soon to an under-sized stadium near you?

The NFL: coming soon to an smallish stadium near you?

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell says he is considering all options as the player lockout continues.

“Let me be clear,” said Goodell, “first and foremost, we want the league to go back to business-as-usual. But we have a business to run and we have to make contingency plans in case the contract talks aren’t resolved.”

One of the NFL’s contingency plans, theDiscust has learned, is relocating the entire 32-team league to a single state.

“It’s true,” said Goodell, “that we are considering the Centralized State Alignment (CSA) strategy, but it’s only one of the options on the table. The idea is that we would compact our operations within a small geographic area to save on expenses. With the CSA strategy, we’d be looking for a state that doesn’t already have an NFL team so as not to give any one team a revenue advantage via its existing fan base; and, we would want it to be a state that’s actively hostile to labor unions… for obvious reasons. We don’t want this to end up like Wisconsin.”

Apparently those “obvious reasons” are that the plan involves playing with non-union players and the league would therefore want to avoid places with a lot of potentially sympathetic and trouble-making union members. Keeping the entire league in one state would not only save money, but would decrease the chances of having to travel through union-friendly states between games.

The NFL CSA committee has narrowed the potential states down to South Carolina, Alabama, and Mississippi, but an unnamed source on the committee says that they really aren’t very interested in Alabama or Mississippi. When pressed for a reason, the source would only say “come on, think about it, where would you rather spend the season?”

The plan would use existing college football and high school stadiums. With shared fields, double-headers, and bye weeks, the league would need about 10 stadiums a week, reserving the larger fields for the bigger televised games.

Governor Nikki Haley was enthusiastic in her support for the proposal.

“South Carolina stands with the NFL in their struggle against organized labor. The business owners of the world need to protect their profits from their employees at all costs and we’re going to do what we can to help them.”

“We appreciate Governor Haley’s support,” said Goodell. “Obviously we wouldn’t be offering exactly the same quality of football the fans are used to, but we think the fans will side with the owners who are just trying to get a return on their investment. It’s clearly the players who are ruining this great sport.”

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Posted in Features, Politics, Sports
One comment on “NFL looking at South Carolina as a temporary home
  1. Alastair says:

    I saw my first NFL game at Death Valley in Clemson, while the Panthers were waiting for their stadium in Charlotte to be completed. The game happened to be the first one they ever one, against the Jets, which I learned from another fan stands for Just End The Season. I say let the Detroit Lions play at Furman’s stadium. With the Paladins’ elderly fan base they may sleep through the college match on Saturday (as a Furman grad I have seen this behavior many times) and already be in the seats for the Sunday NFL contest. As hard as it is to get humans to go to a Lions game that may be the best solution. They could let the Browns play there when the Lions are out of town.

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