Ken Ard spent my money and all I got was this lousy T-shirt

by William Moultrie

Columbia – After eight ever-interesting years with André Bauer as Lt. Governor, South Carolina was looking forward to what looked to be a pretty dull four-to-eight years of Ken Ard. Oh how wrong we were.

The T-shirt is available at our online store, click the image for more information. Proceeds from the shirt are guaranteed not to be available for Ken Ard to spend.

The T-shirt is available at our online store, click the image for more information. Proceeds from the shirt are guaranteed not to be available for Ken Ard to spend.

“We should have realized things were going to be interesting when his son got booked for a DUI on election day and then his campaign manager got arrested for campaign violations,” said Ben Tillman, professor of political science at Furman University. “But I was right there with the rest of the state thinking that he was going to be a big snoozer. Boy were we wrong — I can’t wait to see what he does next.”

Lt. Governor Ard made headlines this week when it was revealed that he has been spending campaign money on trips and merchandise that appear to have no relation to the campaign. Ard was quoted in the Columbia Free Times, explaining that “I’ve got a vast amount of my personal wealth tied up in this campaign and I’m just trying to recoup as much of that as I can.”

Ard ran a relatively quiet campaign in 2010, with most experts agreeing that he was relying on the Republican party’s dominance in South Carolina politics to carry him to victory. Ard’s campaign manager, Robert Cahaly, was arrested shortly after the election on charges related to illegal automated calls allegedly conducted in other races.

“Campaign finance rules can be confusing,” said Tillman. “I was trying to explain it to my four-year-old Bobby the other day and it took him a full ten minutes to really understand it. I did a demonstration with Oreos where people give you so many Oreos to help win the election and then if you have some left over, you don’t just eat them, you save them for the next time. Maybe someone should use cookies to explain it to Ard. Sometimes that helps.”

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Posted in Politics
2 comments on “Ken Ard spent my money and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
  1. Boz Martin says:

    Why no mention of Ard’s choice of Brant Branham as Chief of Staff, when Branham is up to his corrupt eyeballs in the Coastal Kickback (aka Chambergate) scandal involving highly questionable campaign contributions funelled through the Myrtle Beach Area Chamber of Commerce in ’09-’10?

    Since all that has been under investigation for 14 months now, and Branham is widely reported to be a major target — this should at least warrant a mention.

    Also, why not mention Ard’s having been in violation of campaign finance reporting laws in his run for Florence County Council in ’08 — which was, perhaps significantly, when the whole Coastal Kickback scam was getting into gear.

    Might some of that funny money from Brad Dean’s “donation clearing-house” have found its way into and envelope that Ard didn’t want anyone to know about? That run was obviously a stepping-stone to his run for Lt. Gov, and the perps at the beach were clearly trying to buy more power at the state level.

    Why just skim the surface, diSCust? You wanna be cutting-edgey leftie funny in SC, you gotta dig in the hog waste more than this.

  2. e.moultrie says:

    This one is really good. I like the part about the Oreos, but would the leftover cookies still be edible during the next campaign?

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