“Bowfinger 2: Going Down and Columbia Bound”

by Middleton Jervey Manigault, III

Hollywood – 20th century Faux Studio announced today that filming has finally begun on the long-awaited sequel to 1999′s hit “Bowfinger,” starring Eddie Murphy and Steve Martin featuring a surprising South Carolina twist.

bowfinger_frontAccording to studio executive Richard Steele, the movie had been held up by poor scripts and an inability to convince Martin and Murphy to do another picture in the series. All that seemed to change only six months ago when the most recent rewrite of the script reached Steele’s desk.

“Thanks to our great writing team we finally found a vehicle that could support the talents of Heather Graham, the only one of the actors from “Bowfinger” who had signed on to do the second film. I think you will agree what we have here is one of the most original screenplays in years.”

The sequel will be called “Bowfinger 2: Going Down and Columbia Bound” and features Graham (no relation to Lindsey), reprising her role as Daisy. The character of Daisy in “Bowfinger” is a bit of a whore who uses her seductive powers and lithe body to sleep herself all the way to the top during the production of a movie directed by Steve Martin’s eponymous character Robert K. Bowfinger. Graham has throughout her career boldly resisted the urge to avoid being typecast, also playing a whore in “From Hell,” “Austin Powers 2, “The Hangover,” “Boogie Nights,” and “Swingers.”

Spoiler alert: the following may give away the entire plot to the movie.

In “Bowfinger 2″ we find Graham moving on to bigger and better things. Nowadays Daisy, whose last name we discover to be Halley, has parlayed her success in Hollywood into a political career in her home state of South Carolina.

She yearns to one day be the first female governor of the state, but the old boy network appears in front of her like a brick wall to stop her progress. Halley is forced against her will to go back to her old ways, having affairs with politicians on each rung of the ladder in the Republicanian Party in order to advance her ambitions.

Halley starts at the very bottom of the barrel by having sex with a mere blogger by the name of Will Fulks (played by Viggo Mortensen) and moves on to the upper echelon with other trysts, including one with a lobbyist, Larry Merchant (played by Bob Costas).

Her open legs open doors and soon she is battling for the Republicanian nomination for governor. Saboteurs within the party don’t want a woman to win and suddenly reveal Halley’s affairs. The scandal threatens to destroy the Halley campaign. Republicanian party hack Jake Notts (played by Abe Vigoda) also causes a stir by trying to use Daisy’s half-Indonesian background against her, calling her a camel jockey.

Our heroine is too smart to be derailed so easily. Thanks to some help from her well-placed connections with an unidentified man high up in state government (whom she has also known carnally a time or two) she manages to win the nomination over her foe and then goes on to beat the evil tax-raising lawyer, Democritic candidate Vincent Sheehan (played by Gary Oldman).

Will our hero Halley go on to become President? Will she have to sleep with Rupert Murdock (played by Satan) and Carl Rove (a command performance by a bowl of jello) along the way? To find out what happens next, make sure to be the first in line for tickets when “Bowfinger 2″ is released in March of 2011.

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