by William Moultrie
Dover, DE – Ending months of speculation, Delaware Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell admited today that she had indeed placed a curse on the South Carolina Senate race in exchange for Sen. Jim DeMint’s support of her campaign.
“I’m clearly not well-versed in all the rules and regulations about running a campaign,” said O’Donnell, “but my lawyers looked high and low and there’s no prohibition against spells and curses. Frankly, we knew we would benefit from DeMint not having to campaign in South Carolina, so we conjured up the primary win for Alvin Greene. It wasn’t really that difficult — I’m surprised more people don’t do it.”
The revelation comes on the heels of DeMint’s leading challenger, Green party candidate Tom Clements releasing a video accussing DeMint of spending time and money on the Senate race in Delaware and ignoring South Carolina. The two-minute video mocks Christine O’Donnell’s self-professed “dabbling” in witchcraft.
“He might be better off not mocking what he doesn’t understand,” said Elphaba Francois, Professor of Black Magic at Liberty University. “I don’t know if she’s got magic powers or not, but I haven’t any better explanations of what happened in the Democratic primary. I mean really, you think people actually voted for Alvin Greene?”
O’Donnell refused to go into specific details of how she influenced the Democratic primary, but insinuated that more than a handful of newts were in the mix.
Neither Clements nor DeMint were available to comment. Alvin Greene offered to comment but we declined citing “other things to do.”