South Carolina to ban “Dick”

by Ashley Phosphate

Columbia – Legislators yesterday unveiled a plan to ban the nickname “Dick” from South Carolina.

“We get a lot of calls from people who think that we’re all named ‘Dick’,” said Senator Robert Ford.  “Whenever we walk down the streets of Columbia it’s ‘hey Dick,’ or ‘you Dicks’ as if the voters think that there are a lot of Dicks in the Assembly,” he said.

But the real impetus for the legislation apparently comes from out of state.  Wealthy New York philanthropist and former child actor D.H. Bannacroft is behind a nationwide campaign to shelve the name.  “No Dicks Among Us” is the interest group founded by Bannacroft.  The group funds slick brochures and information tables at college campuses informing students about the problems with ‘Dick.’

Ford and other legislators considered the ban a few years back, but opted not to push the issue until this year.

“We’re not trying to ban the name ‘Richard,’ it’s just that nickname ‘Dick’ that causes so much consternation among the legislators,” said Senator Mike Fair.

Lt. Governor Andre Bauer, a candidate for the governor’s mansion, agreed.  South Carolina needs to cleanse itself of these kinds of nicknames, he said.  “I’m tired of people confusing my real nickname, ‘Fly-boy’ with the nick name ‘Dick,’” he said.

The issue will likely become centerpiece in the governor’s race next year.  The legislation would not ban the name ‘Richard’ from birth certificates, just the name ‘Dick.’  A subcommittee will vote on whether the nickname itself can be banned at the start of the next session.

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