Pitts proposes America adopt frankfurter standard

by Jim B DeMinted

Laurens – South Carolina Representative Mike Pitts has introduced legislation that would mandate that hot dogs replace federal currency as legal tender in the state.

Rep. Mike Pitts announces his proposal accompanied by his banker.

“Twenty hot dogs would equal roughly a nickel,” said Pitts, explaining how his new bold, smoky beef-flavored system of money would work.

“We need something more stable than that worthless paper and ink garbage, something you can hold in your hand-something that tastes good on a bun that you can slather with mustard and relish and eat on the go.

Heck in these hard economic times, prices on even the most basic commodities such as bread and milk are skyrocketing, putting a burden on the average hard-working American taxpayer. However, with hot dogs as our currency, if you get hungry you can just reach into your pocket and pull out a tasty wiener.”

Citing his reasoning for suggesting the dramatic change Pitt argued that our system cannot keep printing money at the rate it’s going without collapsing.

“But hot dogs come from pigs, raccoons, turkeys, cows and snakes, which are all renewable resources,” Pitts said. “And they plump when you cook ‘em!”