Joe Wilson pondering how to become relevant again

by Jim B. DeMinted

Beaufort – Congressman Joe Wilson (R-SC2), who garnered international attention for shouting “You Lie!” during a September presidential speech on health care reform, is contemplating an encore in an effort to stay hot with this year’s elections around the corner.

Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC2)

Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC2)

He told reporters Wednesday he is subconsciously planning yet another spontaneous outburst closer to Election Day that will probably be marked by the same warranted rage and brutal honesty as the first eruption.

“There’s no way for certain to predict what will come out of my mouth or when,” said Wilson, adding, “but I can tell you it will be a poignant and refreshingly candid statement that is off-the-cuff and from the heart. And mostly it will focus on how this administration totally sucks because they are liberals and want to give illegal immigrants free health care.”

Wilson said with these angry outbursts that he is just echoing sentiments regular American ‘Joes’ like himself are feeling with respect to the direction the country’s heading, whether they be plumbers, electricians, millers, weavers, tanners or cobblers.

Asked why a veteran of a rigid hierarchical system like the Army that prides itself on discipline and respect for one’s superiors would consider rudely interrupting the Commander-in-Chief of our nation on a second occasion, Wilson deflected criticism.

“People are foaming-at-the-mouth mad at their government right now and I’m just the kind of rabid pit bull who can rip this administration’s jugular and bleed their liberal hypocrisy for all the world to see,” Wilson said.

“And plus, after my health care speech outburst, people across the country and the world actually knew the name Joe Wilson. Whether they loved me or hated me, I was all over the nightly news and the internet. Go ahead, Google ‘Joe Wilson.’ Not only does my name come up, but also I bet you there’s still a news article or two about my call out of that liar president. You got served Obama!”

On the heels of Wilson’s comments, both he and his likely main challenger in the 2010 congressional race Rob Miller saw major spikes in donations to their respective campaigns, though Wilson was the clear bread winner.

“Hating on Obama is the in thing in South Carolina,” Wilson said. “If I want to spur fundraising efforts and get reelected, I have to step up the pressure on him even if it means running naked through his next State of the Union address and chanting ‘The President is a Muslim Terrorist!’”

“Come on, you know you were thinking the same thing. I just had the cajones to say it.”

“And besides, I’ll just repent for it later and that sucker will probably accept my apology.”

Tagged with: , , ,
Posted in Features, Politics
2 comments on “Joe Wilson pondering how to become relevant again
  1. Jacobs says:

    I’m concerned that the Pit bull wants a special sort of proprietor…these pet dogs, no matter how ‘tender’ still have teeth, are nevertheless creatures without having moral concepts and when they DO bite, won’t allow go. As in all creatures…some often be more suseptable to instinctual habits and time and time once again, this breed tends to do just that.

  2. Pat D says:

    Joe Wilson has identified that the current administration has South Carolinans choking on their discust for what is happening in this once great nation. Addendum: The discust prevails in an additional 49 states. Lets hear it for Joe!

1 Pings/Trackbacks for "Joe Wilson pondering how to become relevant again"
  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by, sponso RING. sponso RING said: Joe Wilson pondering how to become relevant again | theDiscust: “If I want to spur fundraising efforts and get reelecte [...]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

The editorial content of this site is satire and parody. Real news is clearly marked. Lighten up.