Tiger Woods boycotted SC women over Confederate flag issue

by William Moultrie

Myrtle Beach –
With the Tiger Woods drama now nearing it’s third week of coverage, the story has shifted from the car crash, to his wife Elin, to the apparent array of women he was also sleeping with. The new question seems to be not who Tiger has slept with, but who he hasn’t. The answer? The women of South Carolina.

One stroke short of completing the course.

One stroke short of completing the course.

“What’s wrong with us?” asked Candy Quorn, a dancer Derriere’s in Myrtle Beach. “We got the hottest girls north of Daytona here and ain’t none of us had a shot at Tiger.”

“I had a shot,” interrupted Quorn’s dance partner Canady Anne. “I was doing some one-nighters at some clubs down in Orlando and I ended up having some drinks with him. It was going pretty good till he asked me where I was from and I told him South Carolina. Then he got this kind of pissed look on his face and said ‘Really, with a name like Canady Anne?’ and I said yeah, it ain’t my real name. You see, we get a lot of Canadians visiting Myrtle Beach so I try to play that angle up.”

“Anyway, he said he had to go,” Anne continued. “I tried to get him to stay — told him it’d be worth his while — but he was already tuckin’ his shirt back in and paying his tab. He said he would normally be all over me, but he made a commitment to blah, blah, something, something, Confederate flag. Sorry, I’m a little fuzzy on the details, but I remember the flag part. I guess you gotta respect someone who makes a commitment and sticks to it.”

Ironically, Woods is scheduled to be the best man at his friend Bryon Bell’s wedding in South Carolina this weekend. Conflicting stories have Tiger either skipping the ceremony or coming to it in some sort of disguise, but theDiscust has learned from our sources in the exotic dance community that Tiger will indeed be in attendance and that the wedding is going to take place at the Kiawah Island Golf Resort just south of Charleston.

“Everyone’s saying  he’s gonna be down at Kiawah,” said Quorn. “Some of the girls are renting a van and we’re gonna see if we can get in, and if not, we’ll all be at the Southern Belle drinking in the back, so if you see Tiger, tell him there’s some hot chicks waiting for him, and we won’t tell nobody nothing.”

Reached for comment, Benjamin Legare, chairman of the South Carolina chapter of the NAACP was willing to give Tiger the benefit of the doubt.

“I think that we should reserve judgment until all the facts are in,” said Legare. “It’s heartening that he’s sort of taken a stand about the Confederate flag, and I admire that, but damn, couldn’t at least one of his girlfriends have been black? Seriously.”

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7 comments on “Tiger Woods boycotted SC women over Confederate flag issue
  1. The Islander Inn of OIB in NC is perhaps the worst hotel on the island. We had a terrible experience at this nc beach resort. The room was not ready for 45 minutes after our check inn time. So we sat in the sweltering heat for about an hour with two young kids and a dog (which cost us an additional 60 bucks). You might say “why didn’t you guys go on the beach to kill a little bit of time”…which is exactly what we did and resulted in a fine from the OIB Police for having our dog on the beach before 6pm. Our bad, but you think there would be a sign on the hotels enterance to the beach…which is another disaster. You have to go through the pool area to get to the beach cross over…a pool area with two sets of outward swinging safety gates…guests and their kids running around, a maze of lounge chairs, and busted up concrete….did i mention the two kids, the wife, the dog , and bags of kid supplies..uggg. if you are even slightly handycapped i wouldn’t even consider touring this crap hole. All this aside, we finally get the mexican cleaning crew out of our room and decide to relax on the back porch to enjoy the view of the ocean …which was great so long as you ignore the ratteling humm of the rooms a/c unit which is as much a fixture of the decore as the stackable white (mildewed) form-molded pvc chairs. Then the gang of homeless cats arrived (I swear you can’t make this stuff up)…dog is going wild..kids now crying…wife about to freak out…i must react quickly so i go down to the gravel parking lot of the islander inn and shoe them away…but their retreat is just a transient ploy…as soon as i get back up to the porch they are back…only with reinforcemnets to boot…aah, but i am far smarter than a cat…even 10 of them…while the gravel lot was poison to my feet it provided me with some ammunition for a full on assault…i lined the stones along the porches edge just under the railing and waited for the perfect shot. The mangiest of the crew was in sight…my wife diles me in ..”a few clicks to the left”..”you are set”…my foot is drawn back like a driver…fire!!! Hit…Dismay…the vermin thought i was kicking food to them…Yet another defeat…i return inside with hopes that they dont start to nest in our van. The night fanally draws to a tylonol pm induced end and all attempts are made to ignore the rattle and humm of the out dated ac unit…after all who the heck would want to sleep to the sound of that silly ocean. 3AM…EEERT!….EEERT!…EEERT!…EEERT!!!…and i arose to see what was the matter “alarm clock?” “radio?”…”Fire?”…”FIRE!”…”FIRE!” no fire extinguisher in room …may have to exit off 2nd story porch…no fire escape latter…must go uot front door…alls clear we (me, wife, 2 small kids, dog, 2bags kid stuff) make our way to the parking lot. Our building is fine so i go back up get the rest of our stuff and we drive 2 hours home in a van that now smells of cat urine if you use the vents so i can get enough sleep to go to work in the morning. Realy freakin cool way to drop almost 300 bones on a room and about that on gas and food. We call the Islander Inn and are told a manager would contact us…he did not…and continues to avoid our calls…Thank god we put it on our AMEX…they are going to revearse the charges. Still managed to spend a bunch of money on gas, made our entire family miserable, and worked a 10 hour shift that following day on 3 hours of sleep. Thank you Islander Inn NC :(

  2. Jimmy L. Shirley Jr. says:

    1st of all, I know this comment is late.
    2nd, wrong is still wrong, even if the whole world believes otherwise. Right is still right, even if the whole world believes otherwise. The issue of slavery aside, more and more of us are learning that the cause of the South was the cause of us all. We know this federal behemoth we have was birthed at Appomatox, that the republic the Founding Fathers established died there and has been snowballing ever since, that one day when Americans may come to realise what has been lost there, the Noble Banner of the South (NBS) will finally be recognised and venerated by all as the emblem of liberty and resistance to federal tyranny.
    3rd, we know Eldrick Woods is a hypocrite, a phony, a fraud, unworthy of emulation, except strictly as a golfer. Golfing students can learn from him about golf and only golf. Anything else about him can be dismissed.
    Last, the comment from the head of the South Carolina klavern of the tanned klan bespeaks of the moral character of that organisation, that they would not only condone adultery, but champion it because of the celebrity of one Eldrick Woods. Moreover, they expose the inherent racism within the group by bemoaning the fact that all the adulterous relationships were with White girls.

  3. KIbb says:

    Tiger made someone mad,you know when you belong to certain associations you do what they tell you when and where,this is just a ploy to enlighten his prediciment(the flag thing),take a little preasure off him but takes the light off whats aactually is going on.We know who controls the media bought and paid for…Cheers

  4. Very nice post. I’m learning more about playing the game of golf from your blog, then I’ve ever did from even my own golf teacher. Hope it’s ok that I share this post on Facebook?

  5. thepulpit says:

    Tiger let us teabaggers down dishonoring the sanctity of marriage bit; however, he does show strong morals and values by abstaining from SC women due to heartfelt convictions. ;-)

  6. Arik says:

    these fools have no Idea what A confederate flag means. They have been brainwashed by the federal school system to believe huge piles of lies.

  7. Armstrong Jackson says:

    what a crock!!! Tiger himself said he wasn’t black! he’s Caubla-whatevertheheckhesaid.

    i call bull Mr. Moultrie!!

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