by William Moultrie
Wasilla, Alaska — Among the many revelations in former Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s new book, “Going Rogue” are apparently intimate musings the Alaskan governor had about South Carolina governor Mark Sanford.
As late as Spring of this year, both Palin and Sanford were on most political observers’ short lists to be presidential candidates in 2012. In May, the two squared off in a friendly wager won by Sanford when the South Carolina Stingrays beat the Alaska Aces in the ECHL Finals.
That is apparently where Palin’s imagination began to get the better of her as she describes in the seventh chapter of her book, “Chapter 7.”
I sent Mark the Alaskan Salmon he’d won in our wager, but being the Southern Gentleman he is, he sent me a consolation prize — shrimp and grits (I still don’t know what you’re supposed to do with grits, but the shrimp were good). Along with the package there was a note with the usual playful banter that governors share, but stuck to the back of that note was another much more personal note addressed to “Mi amor desde el sur” which I looked up on the internet and it’s Mexican for “My love from the south.”
I have to tell you, I was flattered. Not only that he remembered that Wasilla is in the southern part of Alaska, but that he knew my international experience would allow me to figure out that those words were in a different language. For Mark’s sake, I won’t reveal what was in the rest of the letter, but let’s just say it stayed under my pillow for quite a while.
Needless to say, when Mark’s scandal broke, I figured out that the letter might not have been meant for me, but ironically, the shattering of that fantasy helped reinvigorate my quest for the White House. Mark was my only real competition and with that obstacle cleared, I immediately made plans to resign as governor and begin my journey to the presidency.”
As startling as those intimate revelations are, reports indicate that they may just be the tip of the iceberg, as Palin appears to be airing out a number of rumors and scandals before officially embarking on her next campaign.
Palin’s book will be released on Tuesday and will be available at most major book retailers, snow machine dealers, gun shops, and fish hatcheries.