Citadel professor involved in plot to destroy the moon

by Charles A. Smith

Charleston – Continuing a Citadel tradition of hotheaded gun-jumping, a professor in the military college’s physics department, John Richardson, assisted in bombarding the Earth’s moon with a giant shell disguised as a research satellite.

moonshotThe official NASA story describes the “satellite” being shot at the lunar surface in an attempt to see if water exists underneath the moon’s crust. However, recordings obtained by theDiscust tell a different and far more sinister story.

Apparently a number of right-wing scientific minds left over from the Bush administration have decided that the moon poses a genuine threat to the well-being of every American citizen, and as a result there is only one way to respond; with a preemptive strike.

“That moon has been circling us for eons, just waiting for the right time to pounce,” Richardson is heard saying during a secretly taped conversation while speaking before a meeting of NASA scientists this past January. “Either we pepper that heavenly body’s dark side with a missi-, er, satellite, or we run the risk of the moon launching a surprise attack on America. The big bastard is already wreaking havoc with the tides. C’mon, the moon has it coming.”

Last Friday’s strike against the moon by NASA’s Lunar CRater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS) was deemed a success by the government agency. While no NASA official would publicly comment on Richardson’s remarks from earlier this year, rocket scientist Brian Muldoon did go so far as to comment, “Well, you have to admit that the way that thing changes shape throughout the month is a little creepy.”

This isn’t the first time The Citadel has been involved in the shelling of a perceived enemy. Although most historians view the bombardment of Fort Sumter by cannons at Fort Johnson on April 12, 1861 as the true start of the American Civil War, any Citadel cadet will tell you that things really started on January 9, 1861. On that day, cadets from The Citadel were present as a cannon battery on Morris Island fired on the US steamer Star of the West as it attempted to enter Charleston Harbor to deliver supplies to troops at Fort Sumter.

Though there was no official response from the moon, scientists confirm that the orbiting body will entirely block the sun from reaching the Citadel for exactly two minutes and thirty-three seconds on August 21, 2017. Of course most Charlestonians and Civil War historians will recognized that date as the 154th anniversary of the day that the legendary gun, The Swamp Angel, began the bombardment of Charleston that would continue for nearly two years.

Kent Plantview, an astronomy professor at the College of Charleston, was emphatic that this was merely a coincidence.

“It does make you stop and think,” said Plantview, “but the eclipse of 2017 had been on the schedule for millions of years before the War Between the States, and it certainly isn’t part of an elaborate revenge scheme.”

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3 comments on “Citadel professor involved in plot to destroy the moon
  1. Sharepro says:

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  2. Charles Smith says:

    Rrrrriiigghhtttt….

  3. MajorCordite says:

    Professor Richardson was chosen by NASA because of his association with the ultra secret organization, The Torpedo Bureau. Only a few people know of this Confederate Torpedo Service. Confederate Gabriel Rains was in charge of the bureau and his brother was involved in the manufacture of gunpowder. Experiments were carried out during the Civil War on galvanic batteries and gun powder mixtures along with various prototypes of iron and wooden cylinders. Such basic items as goose quills, beeswax, hermetically sealed glass tubes, copper wire, fulminate of mercury, and even pulverized white sugar were used to manufacture a series of “torpedoes” (rockets). The first devises were launched horizontally across a lake near Orangeburg SC.

    Ms Rose Greenhow, a Confederate Spy, travelled all through Europe meeting with heads of state and even royalty to raise much needed money for the South. All of the researched was stored in a secret basement at The Citadel. Ms. Greenhow copied all of the society’s findings (in code) and was instructed to offer it to the highest bidder in Europe. Supposedly the papers were purchased by a prominent Romanian who later fled to Russia. Herman Oberth and Konstantin Tsiolkovsky, both pioneers in astronautic theory were well aware of this Confederate scientific research. A student of Oberth’s, Werner vonBraun a German American rocket physicist and astronautics engineer drew heavily on the Confederate papers. vonBraun was even aware that the Confederacy had launched an experimental rocket as early as 1862, perhaps even reaching a greater altitude than NASA’s Alan Shepard flight in the early 1960′s. This current project was carried out by NASA to see if vonBraun’s theory (Confederate Torpedo Bureau theory) was plausible in 1862. Professor Richardson knew it would work, he merely loaned the particulars to NASA. Only he has the code to decipher the writings.
    Thanking you in advance,
    Major Charles Cordite

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