Kennedy’s death to help with end to ‘Obamamare’ Bob Jones official says

by Ashley Phosphate

Greenville – Bob Jones University chancellor Paul Blankenship declared today that the death of liberal Senator Edward Kennedy  “has now paved the way to an end to this ‘Obamamare.’”

Officials in the crowd refused to comment, but local people applauded Blankenship’s characterization of the liberal senator’s role.

“What we had with all them was a plan to turn America into their version of some college professor’s fantasy land,” said Dirk Bozard, a local car dealer who turned out for the gathering.  “And Kennedy was their leader.  I agree with Paul with all my heart and I’ve been praying for this moment for sometime. We’re all sorry for the Kennedy family’s loss, of course, but many of us have been praying for some time for an end to the liberal cabal that controlled the Democratic party.  Kennedy was certainly their leader.”

Blankenship added that Hurricane Bill blowing by the senator’s home state of Massachusetts was a “warning from God that went unheeded.”

Bob Jones officials did not immediately comment, but they did say that while Blankenship’s talk was not as an official representative of the university, his comments were aligned with its thinking on the senator’s demise.

“We do believe that this is exactly what God would want.  Kennedy’s approval of all things Obama, especially healthcare and that cash for clunkers program, is out of step with mainstream America’s views.  His absence will allow God-fearing Senator Jim DeMint to fill that vacuum and bring America out of her slump,” said an official statement from Bob Jones University’s President’s Office.

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Posted in Politics, Religion
3 comments on “Kennedy’s death to help with end to ‘Obamamare’ Bob Jones official says
  1. Paul Weir says:

    This is indeed a satire site (see the light-gray text below, “The editorial content of this site is satire and parody. Real news is clearly marked. Lighten up.”) It might help some to lighten up if the real satire was also clearly marked.

    Being directed here from a Google News Alert for Bob Jones University, which does not include the phrase “(satire)” next to the title “theDiscust” like a regular Google News search would, it took me a while to realize that this site was not intentionally lying about the position of Bob Jones University regarding Senator Kennedy’s death.

  2. Chris Peterman says:

    I currently attend BJU and I have no clue as to who Paul Blankenship is. As stated in the previous comment, Dr. Bob Jones III is the current chancellor of Bob Jones University.

  3. David McGuire says:

    I don’t know who Paul Blankenship is, but he is not the chancellor of BJU. Bob Jones III is the chancellor.

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The editorial content of this site is satire and parody. Real news is clearly marked. Lighten up.